Thursday, December 30, 2010

Ptosis Surgery Update

So on Dec 23rd, Bug had his Ptosis surgery. It was so hard driving him in while he was screaming in the backseat because he was starving. It took two hours from then for them to take him back for surgery so the poor boy hadn't eating in about 5 hours. When we got into pre-op they had us change him into a hospital gown, dude, baby gowns are soo sad. They weighed him again and he is 97% for height and weight, the boy knows how to nurse! Then the surgeon and the anesthesiologist came in to meet with us. We prayed over the Bug then handed him over, hardest thing I've ever done.

They sent us to a waiting room for the parents of kids in surgery, we were at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania). I thought CHOP handled this part really well, they had people coming in and updating all the parents on that status of the surgeries about every 30-40 minutes. When Bugs surgery was done the surgeon came in to talk to us and told us it was successful and that we would be called back to see him in a few minutes, once he woke up from anesthesia.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for what we saw when we went back. My boy had so much attached to him (IV, blood pressure cuff, pulse oxygen monitor, heart monitor, etc). The first thing I saw was a bottle though and I think all my anxiety flew onto the nurse. I was soo mad they gave him a bottle, don't they know that Breast is Best?!!! They finally gave him to me after what seemed like forever and I couldn't believe what I saw. He was swollen and bloody. The hubs and I were horrified that we had chosen to do this to our son. After about an hour they let us bring him home.

He seemed to be fine once we got him home. He just seemed like he was in a little bit of pain so we gave him a dose of Tylenol. I just kept staring at my poor boy. His right eye was swollen shut that day. He nursed fine on both sides though, which was one of my worries. We have to put ointment in his eye every two hours and he's on an oral antibiotic 3x a day which is interesting to say the least. He is a very strong, very stubborn little boy.

As the dust settles and the swelling goes down the hubs and I both realize how he needed this surgery. He looks around at things like he's never seen them, its so easy to tell that the surgery was necessary. He loves his swing now and sitting up; before he would fuss at either (I think because his eyelid would shut so he couldn't see that well in that position). Its so nice to see him sitting up and looking at me with his big dimply smile. We are blessed.

Praying tonight for a bloggy mommy that I read who was blessed with twin baby girls only to lose one. My heart breaks for her.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

All I want for Christmas is.....

This is Bug's first Christmas and I'm really wanting to set the tone for years to come. We are doing a very simple Christmas. I got him some socks and pjs, a childrens nativity, and some wooden teethers; that's it. I'm making him a few things; his first sock monkey, a sweet little hat and some cloth wipes. I really want to make sure that our family Christmas isn't about gifts but about spending time together and about celebrating our faith. I know we have a few years before the lil guy will remember these Christmases but I know that it will take a couple years to de-program myself and the hubs. I do really like giving gifts and would LOVE to spoil the boy with everything he could possibly want. However, I know from my time working at the preschool that the more toys kids have the less they play with them. I also know that having so much stuff in my house would drive me insane and that would not be good for the tone of our house.

The hubs and I are also doing a minimalist Christmas. We are doing a $5 limit and are getting the most ridiculous thing we can find. I CAN'T WAIT to see what he finds. I am also going to make him something, and fill his stocking with some needs and some little odds and ends.

I've been so bothered lately by some of the commercials, especially the jewelry store ones. "Every kiss begins with Kay" and others that basically say that the only way to express or receive love is lavish gifts. This bothers me so much. I'm the first to admit that I have gotten jewelry and loved it for certain occasions but my relationship is not dependent on my husband getting me lavish and expensive gifts. I want to find different and unique ways of expressing love without giving in to our culture of overspending and excessiveness.

My bug was all I really wanted this year and now that he's here I want to focus on showing him what is important in life. Wishing you and your families a very Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Fun at the Docs

So we've been hanging at doctors offices but we've been trying to make it fun. Thankfully the Bug is a pretty silly guy. Here's him figuring out his tongue :)

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

2 Month Letter

My Dearest Buggy,
Its hard to believe another month has past! You have changed so much in the past month, and even though I didn't think it was possible I love you more. You are such a fun little guy, your daddy and I are really enjoying having you interact more with us. One of our favorite times is Saturday mornings, you usually wake up pretty cheerful and we love cuddling with you. You LOVE kisses and we play a little game where we sit on opposite sides of you and take turns kissing your cheeks, you turn your head from side to side with big smiles!! Your smile is the best thing I've ever seen, I love making you smile. Whether its a sweet little sleep smile, or a nursing smile or a big old giggly smile they all make me melt. I've had a hard time capturing it on film because usually my focus is on making you smile more.

We've definitely caught our groove with the nursing, and we've even nursed while walking around Target! Don't worry you were all covered, we weren't flashing anyone :) Last month I was scared we would never leave the house but we have and even took our first trip to Hershey Park! Your dad and I celebrate the anniversary of our first date by going to Hershey every year during Christmastime, its also the place where your dad proposed to me. the exact spot where your dad proposed to me
You slept for most of it but we're so excited to do it every year and can see how fun its going to be as you get older. It was sooo cold, your dad was worried if it would be too cold for you to be outside but you were nice and cozy with me wearing you in your Moby wrapped in a blanket.
thats you under that blanket all snuggly!
You still LOVE to be worn and I wear you most of the time, I can count on one hand the number of times you've been in your stroller. Sometimes I just bring it to store the diaper bag and still wear you. Its so nice holding you as we go through our day, I love my snuggly little man. busy playing on your playmat
I brought you into the office this month and you were so good, I was able to work for 4 hours both wearing you and having you play on your playmat. You've been letting me work a few hours a day at home as well, you entertain yourself really well with your play mat and just looking around. You have started to look around more and take in whats around you. I love watching you discover things, the funniest has been your tongue. Its so cute watching you stick out your tongue and play with it. You've even started licking us sometimes when we kiss you its pretty funny.

You are sleeping better, in the past few nights you've gone for like 4-5 hours of straight sleep. Umm seriously this has been AMAZING! To tell the truth though I went in expecting you not to sleep so even though I was tired it didn't bother me to wake up to change and nurse you. Taking care of you has been the most rewarding job of my life, I love being your mommy!

This month we also found out you need to have minor surgery on your eyelid. Its the first time that I really feel like I can't protect you and it kills me. I know that this is just the first time of many that I will have to watch you go through trials without being able to take them away from you. You are my gift from God, so I trust you in His hands and place you in them every day in prayer. I know that your life experiences and how you choose to view them will make you the man you're going to be; good or bad. So even though I can't take this trial from you I plan to model my faith to you that you will learn that through anything we can trust God.
"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."Matthew 10:29-31

God has numbered the very hairs on your head, He loves you my boo. Its hard for me to believe but He loves you even more than I do.

I love you so, my Bug, and look forward to getting to know you more as the months go by. Sometimes I just wish we could pause it a bit, its going so fast! I can't wait to see where this month is going to bring us and what new tricks you're going to learn. I can't wait to make the memory of your first Christmas! To celebrate the New Year with you, you've already shown me so much more hope and promise than any new year could.

Love Always,
Your mama

Like a 12 yr old girl

Oh hormones you are so cruel. Pimples, really?? All over my face right near Christmas, when we have parties to go to and actually see people. Arghh, this part of motherhood I could do without! Forgive the crazy eyes, I can't take a decent picture to save my life.

Thursday, December 02, 2010


I just finished organizing all of my medical bills from the birth of my son. You know the natural birth where I didn't require any medications of my healthy son who didn't require any medical interventions. Good grief, it was more expensive for me to pay my copays at the hospital than it would be to pay for a home birth in full.
For the nursery alone they billed us $10,000, my son was in the nursery for 3 hours total. I even tried to refuse him going because I thought it was ridiculous. $10,000=INSANE!

Tonight I'm going to purposefully focus on how thankful I am to have had a healthy delivery of a healthy son.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


So yeah, I finished!! Sorry that it was pretty lame but I'm just happy that I completed it! Today was a great day, my sister gave birth to my newest little niece. She's a sweetie and this auntie is having a hard time living a flight away from this newest little one! She's a red head just like Bug, he's going to be in good company with 4 other ginger cousins. I think both sides of our family are proving that red heads are going extinct thing wrong.

Monday, November 29, 2010


Just got our birth announcements and they cut off the first letter of his name, the b in born and the 7 in 7 lbs.. umm kinda important parts. I emailed the company that I ordered from, not my usual company. I'm reaaally hoping that they resolve it quickly as I have been seriously neglectful of the thank you cards for the gifts since he was born because I'm planning on sending them with our birth announcements. On another note our Christmas cards came so they will all get sent out together once I get the corrected birth announcements.
I'm going into the office tomorrow with the Bug to do some data entry. I'm having a little anxiety about it cause I'm scared how he will react. Say some prayers peeps the extra cash would be nice around Christmas :) I have the travel swing and his floor gym in the car, hopefully he'll take a good nap so I can get some time in.
Major pet peeve, when my baby smells like cigarettes. I HATE that he smells like that after relatives who smoke hold him. I really try to limit his time in the hands of smokers but man it makes me want to cry when my babies hair smells like that. I can't believe that I used to smoke considering my current reaction to that smell.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Started decorating

The tree is looking less Charley Brown than I thought it would, makes me much happier. The ridiculous amount of garland and lights really help the situation. I forgot how much the cat likes to eat this tree though.. whomp whomp whomp.. Anyone want a cat??

Mine is way less cool than these

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Fake Tree

We're thinking of going fake this year, gasp.. I don't know if I can handle it :)

Friday, November 26, 2010

So excited

I've been looking at pictures of my nieces and nephews first Christmas' and I can't wait to start making these memories with Bug. We're planning on decorating the tree this weekend and starting the Advent Wreath on Sunday. Next week we are heading up to Hershey for the Anniversary of our first date and also our engagement. I'm so excited to bring our little boy to our special place :) We've been talking all week about fun things we can do with him when he's older and traditions to start with him. I'm a self proclaimed Christmas nut so this is all too exciting for me :)

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Fall Colors Fall
Unique party invitations and announcements by Shutterfly.
View the entire collection of cards.

Remember kids give thanks in all situations, our God is good!
Yes this is our turkey!!!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


I've been reflecting on the difference between this year and last. Last year was the deepest valley of my life and I'm just so thankful to be on the other side of it. Those valleys certainly help you appreciate the peaks. Right now we are standing on a peak but I know that there are times and seasons for all of this and that there are other valleys we will have to walk through and other peaks to ascend. I'm thankful right now for both the valleys and the peaks because both of them make you who you are.
I'm so excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow, we are going over my moms and I don't have to cook. We are also bringing a turkey over to my parents house to have my brother fry. Soo not only do I not have to cook but I still get leftovers.. How thankful am I for THAT! :)

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and run out of fingers and toes when you count your blessings. :)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Monday, November 22, 2010

Nursing in a ring sling!

Wow, so last month I was having such a hard time even contemplating nursing in public. I'll admit to thinking I would be relegated to my house for the rest of our nursing relationship. The few times I did venture out I was bringing my nursing pillow and basically exposing myself in the back of my car. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd get proficient at this whole nursing deal. I'm still not that great, I do alright with my Hooter Hider (thanks Anna!) despite flashing my friend Lisa some nip today. It has gotten drastically better though, like I don't start sweating every time he looks like he's rooting outside of the house. Today I did the unthinkable, I nursed in the middle of Target WHILE WALKING AROUND with him in a ring sling. Dude I was so proud I had my friend snap a pic :)

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Buggy Smiles make my day

My little bug just started smiling this week, it melts my heart. He's such a happy guy that he smiles for most of the time he's awake. Happy Sigh!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Birth Announcements Done

check off my list woot woot.
Now to finish ordering our Christmas cards as we're sending them out together.
This is amazing, I feel so productive :)

Friday, November 19, 2010

Mother's Heart

I'm learning so much about my faith with my little Bug. We are God's children and He loves us with a perfect love, he loves me and my Bug far more and better than I could ever. My Bug has a weak muscle in his eyelid and it seems he needs surgery to correct it. I learned today that my little tiny 6 week old baby needs surgery and I would do ANYTHING to make him not have to go through that. If I could give him my eyelid I would, if I could take that from him I would in a heartbeat. How much more would our Father in Heaven do for us. Just reflecting on the love I have for him with my limited heart makes me realize how much more the perfect love my God has for both of us.
I'll do what I can, I'll learn as much as I can and make the best decisions that I can for him. I'll love him and smother him with kisses. Then I'll rest in the knowledge that there is an All Powerful God that loves him even more than I do.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

I was made for this

I wore my baby and went out to hang up his diapers this morning. Pinning each one on the line I was just filled with peace. I've never been happier than I am right now. I realize this probably sounds crazy and stupid but I love the place I'm in. I love keeping my house and taking care of my baby. I'm pretty sure most people don't feel this way when doing laundry :) I'm a lucky girl!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Free pictures

So there are all these free offers flying around for pictures. I've been using picture websites that I don't usually use to take advantage of them since I have about 300 cards to buy between Christmas and our Birth Announcement. Let me just say that I definitely am happy with the site that I normally use. I've had such problems with the new ones! Just so you know I would never link to a site or service that I'm unhappy with for the sake of free pictures I have always used and liked Shutterfly. Ha ha and yes this counted for nablopomo, I was going to post a picture of the Bugs outfit today cause its an original but that would mean I would have to find my camera cable and upload my pics so sorry. Hopefully I'll stop being lame with these posts soon!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Great Link for dad's to bond with thier breastfeeding baby

So the hubs has really been thinking of ways for him to bond with our peanut. He asked about me pumping so that he can feed him and I was a bit hesitant because of nipple confusion. Then I found this link up on Facebook:
How New Dads Can Bond With Their Breastfeeding Baby
It has some great tips on it that we're totally trying. I'll let you know

Monday, November 15, 2010

A little nastalga

This is a picture I took 5 years ago, I lived in that cabin by myself and LOVED it. It was built before the United States of America was the United States and was once a one room dirt floor cabin. When I lived there you couldn't see any other houses or the road from the cabin, the views were all trees and fields. I would do the dishes with views of deer running through the fields and wild turkeys running around. I would fall asleep to the sound of the whipperwills. The hubs and I dream of one day building a cabin in the woods for ourselves, but for now I just treasure that memory.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Tomorrow is my 5 year Bloggoversary, I started this blog about 2 weeks before I started dating my now husband. It seems so weird that my life has changed so much in this time. I'm so happy to have a record of all these changes even if I wasn't always the greatest at updating.

I'm having a hard time with this Nablopomo thing mostly because I'm exhausted. The little man is going through a growth spurt right now so I'm literally nursing him ALL THE TIME. He also won't go to anyone but me right now so taking a nap on the weekend is all but impossible as he'll scream the whole time if I'm not holding him. He is such a wonderful little boy and I'm so happy right now but I'm really really really hoping for just a bit of sleep tonight. Its 7:30 and we're all in bed for the night so I'm crossing my fingers :)

Anyway I hope to update with some good stuff this week to make up for my lameness in the past few days.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I'm gonna be an aunt again!

Thats all I've got, its late, I'm tired and excited.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Most used infant products-the first month

So I thought it might be useful or interesting to hear my most used baby items so far.

1. My Moby Wrap- I have LOVED this. The bug adores being in it and will snuggle right up. I love having him so close to me and rarely if we're out do we use the stroller. Its just been easier to use the Moby.

2. The My Brest Friend Pillow. I love this pillow and love how secure it is. Those first few weeks of nursing can be tough so anything you can get to make it easier do it. This was one of my favorite things that I had.

3. My Kleen Kanteen- The hubs makes sure that this is always filled and I don't think I would drink anything in those first weeks unless it was right there for me. I love these and bring them EVERYWHERE.

4. Zippy Pajamas-I loved not dealing with buttons or snaps in the middle of the night.

5. Sophie the Giraffe-This toy is so cute, I love it. The bug tracks it with his eyes and will bat it with his hands too :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Its beginning to look alot like Christmas Card time!

I used to be one of those people who bought Christmas cards and never sent them. I would write them all out and then come March I would throw them out, yeah that was a great use of my time and cash. Since I've been hitched though I've been so good with sending them out, patting myself on the back for that. We've used Shutterfly and we couldn't have been happier. We actually have used shutterfly for other things too, we even made a photo book as our wedding album and for albums for our parents.

This year is a little more exciting for us with our little Bug so we're so excited to send our Christmas cards out with a picture of our little man included. This year the Count Your Blessings card is definitely ringing true for us.

I also like the Good Blessings
Its one of my favorite verses and songs, I also love the artwork on the front.

I also like the simplicity of the Scarlet Script Frame and Vintage Merry Christmas.

I know this year we'll be looking into getting some other things from Shutterfly; both for us and for gifts. I would love a photo ornament to commemorate Bug's first Christmas and could see getting them for the grandparents as well. I know the grandparents would freak their freak over a wall calendar with 12 months of cuteness on it. I have been so happy with the quality and also the customer service in the past with Shutterfly and will be ordering with confidence this year.

***This post is part of the Shutterfly free card promo. Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up:

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Great Great Great

Today Bug met his Great Great Great Aunt Ginny. It was sweet to see how much it meant to her to hold my little man, and it warmed my heart to see how he responded to her. She sat and rocked and sang to him and he ate it up.

This is something that is important, I think, to have your children visit the elderly. They can learn so much and they also can bring so much joy. It was amazing watching the eyes of my 93 year old great great aunt light up when she met my little man, and the way she watched me as I rocked and nursed him. You could tell it made her day.

Monday, November 08, 2010


My boy is getting so big, I just went through his closet and had to pack up all the newborn clothes and a decent amount of the 0-3 and 3 month clothes. I put him in his first 6 month shirt today. Can't believe that he's already had a graduation of sorts.

Sunday, November 07, 2010


I nursed in a restaurant and didn't flash anyone!!!

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Big Day Out

So today the hubs went surf fishing with my brother while I had some friends over. When he got home he watched the Bug so I could get a nap, then we decided to rent a movie and get sushi. I decided to go get it myself to just get out of the house a bit by myself. Well I pick up the sushi and am driving down the road and pow... I get a flat.
Now its about 40 degrees and I was wearing flip flops with no jacket (big surprise for those who know me). Whomp whomp whomp not the big outing I was hoping for. I started changing the tire myself, cause thats right I can give birth and change a flat--I'm totally singing "I'm Every Woman" in my head. A nice guy came up and started helping then my father in law pulled up to help(the hubs called him to help me since he was at home with the baby) so we got it changed in no time. I got home and we watched Iron Man 2 (well I watched it while the hubs slept) and ate the sushi. All ended up well but I'm really hoping thats the end of our tire woes cause this is the 2nd tire in a week to blow. So yeah this really has no point but I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS NABLOPOMO

Friday, November 05, 2010

1 month letter

Dear Buggaboo (Bugs, Bugsy, Chunky Monkey, Boo Boo Face, Sweetie Boy),
I can't believe it was only one month ago today that we first saw your sweet face. It seems like forever ago and just a moment ago at the same time. To say you've turned my life upside down is an understatement, but the biggest change was my heart. I've never loved so much. When I was dating your dad I said that it made me understand God's love for me a little more because I had never known love like that before. You have shown me yet another depth of love, and I'm amazed again at God's love for me. I keep saying I can't believe that God gave his only son for me, that is a love that I cannot even fathom. I pray every day to live that out in my life that I can be an example to you of this great love.

We are starting to catch our groove with each other. Nights are sometimes rough, you usually wake up about 2 times a night. A good number of those nights though I admit to staying awake much longer than needed to just look at you. Nursing has been one of the sweetest experiences of my life, it has come with its own set of obstacles but nothing out of the ordinary. I'm amazed that the only sustenance you've ever had has come from me. I'm still not so great at nursing in public so we haven't gone out too much or for too long, I'm hoping to get better this month and get out of the house more.

I love watching you with your daddy, he loves you so much. Every night you fall asleep on his chest, he usually falls asleep too. I didn't think it was possible but you've made me fall more in love with your daddy more. I'm amazed that God used the two of us to make you, I love looking at you and seeing all the ways you look like your daddy, EVERYONE says you look just like him. I pray that you grow up to be a good man just like him.
You are out of newborn clothes and some of the 3 months are a stretch for you as well. Daddy has weighed you a few times and the last time we checked you were around 11.5lbs, we'll find out next Friday for sure what you are up to. I love wearing you and it seems your favorite place to be is in the Moby. One day daddy came home and kissed your head and said you smelled like Chicken soup, well that's what I had for lunch and I'd been kissing your head all afternoon. You don't seem to mind though so I keep wearing you.

I love you with all my heart little one, and I'm so thankful that you've made me a "mommy". I feel like all my life I've been waiting and preparing for this, to be a wife to your daddy and a mommy to you. I promise to do my best by you.

Your mama

Thursday, November 04, 2010

The Weaning

We've had Halloween candy in our house for about 2 weeks I have been indulging a little too much, using my sugar high to diffuse the sleep deprivation. We ran out yesterday and lets just say today has been rough, like so rough I wanted to spell it ruffffff. Resisting the temptation to run out and shop the clearances...
So for today this is all I got.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Cloth Diapering so far

pic of my Bug's cute little cloth diapered tush!
Some of our parenting decisions were made automatically for us; cloth diapering and breastfeeding being the biggest. It was VERY important to both of us for me to stay home to raise the bug and for that to happen we had to lessen the cost of having a child. Diapering a child comes with an obscene cost, cloth diapering seemed like the best way to cut that and it has been. Thankfully we had purchased some cloth when we took care of my nieces twins and one of my friends handed me down some of her cloth diapers as her kids outgrew them; so even the cloth diapers didn't really have a significant impact on our budget. Even if we did have to purchase them it really just does make sense financially to go cloth. There are other bloggers who have gone into the cost analysis so I'm not going to do the math, I'll just link up a few here, here and here. I also like the environmental aspect of cloth diapering and appreciate how my frugal choices also tend to be green.

What we didn't realize is that when we left the hospital they would give us TONS of disposable diapers, we literally left with 5 packages. These 5 packages proved to be a great incentive to start with the cloth, we both HATED them. The bug some how leaked so bad that every time we changed him at night we were changing the sheets and his clothes too (some times ours as well).

It was so irritating, and both brands that they gave us let to the same effect. The hubs and I were so happy when we started using cloth because they really held the business in. We honestly haven't even noticed the laundry part of it too much, it works out to be an extra load every 2-3 days and you don't have to fold them!

So yeah, we cloth diaper and it isn't at all horrible like everyone insisted it would be when we were pregnant (all while giving us knowing looks and saying "we'll see how long that lasts"). It just works for us and for the boy, although I could see how if you were working full time or didn't have a washing machine cloth diapering would be hard. Also breastfeeding has its own advantages on cloth diapering so if I was formula feeding I might be singing a different tune.

The one thing that bothers me when people talk about cloth diapering is that they believe you have to buy the fancy expensive diapers. You can go crazy with cloth there are many many different options and some of them cost over $20 a diaper but you can go way cheaper than that. We opted to purchase prefolds, cheap prorap covers
and snappis to secure. Diapering with those options it costs about $50 per size and you can reuse for subsequent children, super cheap!

So what do you do? What made your decision for you?

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

A Moment

He sighs contentedly in his sleep, nestled up against me. He grasps my necklace with both hands. We sit like this for hours each day, he finishes nursing and I hold him. I know this won't last long, that my tiny man will grow so much quicker than I will like; so for now I will let the dishes sit in the sink and the clothes will lay unfolded. I'll take a deep breath and breathe in his baby smell. I'll make myself remember how tiny his hands are, how soft his hair, how he fits perfectly all nestled against me.

I know this is special.

Monday, November 01, 2010

Napoblomo! For Real!

So yeah I'm doing the Napoblomo, I've gotten way out of the whole blogging thing but have alot going on. I'm figuring this will help me get back into blogging. I also have a little Bugaboo that is A-dorable that I can fill space with pictures of if I run out of things to say.
We are starting to hit our groove after the birth of our son, our groove is a different groove than it was. Its a much more sleep deprived groove than it used to be but it also contains an obscene amount of cute and the fiercest of love. So yeah I have alot of posts flying around my head about being a first time mom, breastfeeding, natural birth, and then just my crazy random thoughts.
I'll leave you with a picture of the cuteness.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

The Birth of my Little Man

Baby Bam Bam

So this week has been a bit busy. About 4 hours after I wrote that last post I went into labor with my little man. After a long labor he was born on 10/5/10 at 3:11pm weighing 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. The labor, birth and reality of having a son have rocked my world. I feel so incredibly blessed right now.

Birth Story-Long version ** I am a doula and I go into detail here so if you don't feel comfortable reading the birth story from my perspective do not continue**

Monday morning I woke up about 4:30 shivering uncontrollably. I went to the bathroom then came back to bed to get under as many blankets as I could. About a half hour later my contractions started. They started out about 5 minute apart lasting about a minute each, I jumped in the shower to see what would happen. They got a bit more intense and the hubs popped his head in to see what was going on and if he should go to work that day. We figured it would be a good idea for him to stay home, and called my awesome doula, Mama K at about 6 am, and did a few laps around the block. We lapped the block a few more times, watched Flight of the Conchords and I took alot of showers. It started to get pretty intense at about 11:30 am and I felt best laying in bed; the contractions were about 2-3 min apart. The hubs called the midwives and they said to head on into the hospital.

I was extremely anxious about going into the hospital; terrified of having unnecessary procedures, of having my blood pressure go up because of anxiety. The whole hospital part of the birth scared the tar out of me and I think the decision to go in then stalled me out a bit because after that the contractions spaced out again at around 3-4pm. We ended up going out to dinner and while there they picked up a bit then we went over and walked the mall, then we headed home. Mama K headed home to see her little guys for a little bit with instructions for us to call her when things got going again.

They did start picking up again around 10pm, and at about midnight we headed to the hospital. My thinking was that I would sit in the parking lot until I just couldn't stand it then head in, and maybe walk around the parking lot in the meantime. Well it was raining and freezing so that made that difficult, the hubs and I did lap the hospital a couple of times but ended up going home again as the contractions seemed to space out again.

When we got home, I tried to sleep. The contractions were making that impossible, I was exhausted and in a good amount of pain. I called my mom for her advice knowing that if I got too tired there was no way I was going to be able to push this kid out, she basically told me the same thing. What finally made up my mind was that if we got to the hospital and things petered out at least I could get some sleep if they didn't then woo-hoo baby time. So we called Mama K and headed on in. I had to be on monitors for 20 min out of the hour but for the other 40 minutes I was able to labor in the shower, walk around, use the birth ball, listen to music,etc. The 20 minutes in bed were the hardest for me, the contractions just slammed me with back pain. Mama K and the hubs were wonderful in here; offering counter pressure, sips of water, walking with me, distracting me. It was funny I would be doing one thing then remember, hey if I were my doula this is what I would say and it would really help me, the one thing that really helped was the vocalizing making the low hmmmm noises and focusing. I remember during my contractions in bed I focused so hard on the bassinet which was directly in front of me. Towards the end I was so tired I was delirious, I remember just mumbling gibberish then realizing it was gibberish.

Here is the timeline for my dilation during all this at 4 am they checked me and I was 4 cm dilated, at 0 to -1 station and 80% effaced. Then at 6 am I was 6cm and 90 % effaced, at 8 am I was 8 cm and 90% effaced (see a pattern here??). At 10 am I was still at 8 cm and 90% but by noon I was at 9.5 cm with an anterior lip and 100% effaced. The midwife asked me if I wanted to have my water broken at this point and we decided that it probably would just help move things along. She broke my water at 12:30.

At this point we had that lull that they promise every laboring mom. Oh it was so appreciated as I was so incredibly tired from being up since about 5 am the day before laboring. The nurse walked in at one point here and I jokingly asked her if I could have my epidural now. She did such a double take cause I did it with a smile on my face calm as can be, lol. I was pretty happy because this was the only point that I asked for anything and I was just kidding around. What really helped me with this was I requested not to be offered any type of pain medication, they abided by my wishes and my stubborn Irish self wouldn't ask to save my life :).

I started pushing at 2:07. Wow, NOTHING could have prepared me for that. The midwife gave me full discretion to push in whatever position felt good to me and it seemed to be hugging the back of the bed on my hands and knees. I just remember while pushing having such doubt if he would ever come, if I could do it. I started praying in between the contractions asking God to help me, to give me strength, to get this baby out of me! The nurse told me later that I also politely asked the baby "Get out of me! Please!!". After pushing in that position for awhile I moved to stand next to the bed bent over the bed pushing, I kept feeling the midwife underneath me putting the monitor on my belly to get the heart rate and wondering where the heck she was to be doing this. At this point they realize that my hep lock (port for IV) came out so they were trying to clean up the blood on my arm from that, that gave me something else to focus on while pushing so that was good. I could feel his head coming out but no one was saying anything so I figured I was wrong, I was having so much self doubt here. I remember thinking if that isn't his head this labor is going to kill me. The midwife said for the next contraction she wanted me in bed using the squat bar so I did that and his head came out on the next push. She wasn't ready and didn't have her gloves on so she was yelling at me to stop pushing!! I started crying because its impossible to stop and I thought there was something wrong with him (ie cord wrapped around his neck, not breathing). Oh I was soo mad when I found out that it was just because she didn't have gloves on!!

All that was quickly forgotten at 3:11pm when she placed my sweet man on my stomach. I was so overcome with emotion, I couldn't do anything but just cry. I was so in love with this little baby boy and with my husband, I couldn't believe that one room could contain it.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Thoughts on 39 weeks

So here we are in the waiting game. A twinge here and there, is that it? Am I in labor? Its not really bugging me or wigging me out yet. I just really really hope to go into labor soon just to avoid induction talk. As far as the pregnancy its really not that bad, physically I don't feel too bad. I think the worst part is people calling and asking if you are in labor. My brother was cracking me up, he called last week and said "as soon as you go into labor call me the next day", if only the rest of the world was like that :). My IL's were over on Saturday and I swear every time I moved they were like "are you ok?"...Really... I'm fine I can manage shifting positions. The hubs has been absolutely incredible picking up so much slack around the house. Thankfully his office has also let him work from home a good amount of the time, its so wonderful having him there for every appointment. I just finished thank you cards tonight which was the last thing on my "really really really want to get done before I have the baby list". There is other stuff but I'm not too concerned anything not on my big list.
So anyway thats really all that I've been up to, just waiting. I'm so excited to meet our little boy.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Majesty worship HIS Majesty

So I woke up this evening with my normal pregnancy bathroom break and something drew me downstairs. Once down there I could hear the wind blowing outside and I found myself walking around our block at midnight, 9 months pregnant. Feeling the breeze across my face, watching the wind through the trees and I couldn't help but start to sing. It was one of those moments where you are so filled with praise that you can't help it. What a gorgeous night tonight is, I'm so thankful to have a little one on one walk with God through it.

Majesty worship His Majesty
Unto Jesus, be all glory,
Power and praise
Majesty, Kingdom authority
Flow from His throne,
Unto his own, His anthem raise.

So exalt, lift up on high
The Name of Jesus
Magnify, come glorify,
Christ Jesus the King
Majesty, worship His Majesty
Jesus who died, now glorified,
King of all Kings.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Baby Shower

So a couple of weeks ago my friends and family threw us an amazing baby shower.

The threw it at my parents house and it was a gorgeous day; it was so special to have so many of the important people in my life celebrate our little man with us. We were so touched with the hard work that went into the party. There were alot of people there and everything was just so special, I loved it! Instead of a guest book they had alphabet coloring pages that they'll put into a book for the baby. The theme was birds and trees and Mama K outdid herself with handmade birdie garland and little birds and birdcages all around. The trees were easy since my parents live in the middle of nowhere!

just one picture of one of the strings of garland. Its hard to tell here but the picture frames are filled with my siblings and my wedding pictures and the one closest to the camera is the hubs and I.

One of my oldest friends, T, made the cake and it was soo delicious. Each slice had four layers filled with lemon curd and a marscapone cheese filling. It was soo delicious!!! I normally don't eat cake but I still drool thinking about that one!

Another friend Eminstiches made these awesome bird nest favors! They were so cute and tasty!

My siblings were in charge of the food and they didn't disappoint, I've never seen such a spread at a shower. There were other tables full of food as well.

We were completely floored by the generosity of our friends and family. I loved this onsie it says Mommy + Daddy = Me :)
It was such a great day celebrating Baby B and seeing friends old and new. I'm so thankful to have such wonderful people in our lives. We are so blessed.