In The Shadow

Last week we had some gorgeous days so Bug and I took the opportunity and went to the playground. Bug loved it and was running around like a madman. He's such a social little guy and was having such a fun time just being around all those kids. It was a big playground so I spent my time chasing Bug around making sure he was safe. I stopped short when I looked up and I saw that Bug was completely encased in my shadow. It just struck me that no matter how hard I try I can't keep my Bug safe from everything, the realization took my breath away. There is One who loves him even more than I do and in His shadow I pray he will dwell all of his days.

Psalm 91

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,”
and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”

New International Version (NIV)

11 Months of Bug

Dear Buggy,
We are running quickly towards your first birthday and I wanted to get some of the little nuiances of your 11th month documented. You remain to be such a joy to me and your dad.
You have developed a fascination with the cat. We have an outside cat that you are obsessed with. You love hanging out by the front door and get so excited when the cat comes to the door. When you get excited you quietly and excitedly say "oof oof oof" which is woof to you, it is so adorable. Everything is woof to you, you love animals! You do say meow as well but your first instinct is always woof. I've brought you into the pet store near us a few times just because I figured you would like it and I was right you would be happy to sit there for hours staring at the birds, lizards, fish and love when people bring their dogs in. Two of your best friends Taylor and Rebekah both have puppies and you love watching them play together, you will sit and just crack up watching their dogs run around.
We also went to a Phillies game with our friends Matt and Tracey, we were able to get some amazing seats thanks to Matt and his father. Your second game was spent in the first row leaning up on the dugout. You loved watching the game and everyone near by was amazed at how good you were. You would watch the field then look at the jumbotron then look around. I think you were just so excited by the crowd. There ended up being a rain delay and I got a little momma bear with some people pushing and shoving but you ended up sleeping for the whole rain delay and waking up to watch the rest of the game. It was one of those times that I will never forget, just a great time with our little family and our friends. Thankfully I have some amazing pictures to treasure.
You also lived through your first earthquake and your first hurricane. We were out walking one day when your daddy called asking if we felt that. Felt what? We had no idea that there was just and earthquake we were just having fun on our walk! It took awhile before I stopped worrying that your dad lost his mind and realized that there was, in fact, an earthquake. I'm hoping its your last! That same week we had a hurricane coming. I like being prepared for things but since I've had you I think its gone to the next level. We spent most of that week picking up things just in case we were stuck without electricity. I put you to sleep on the dining room floor just to have you near us, then when they started adding tornado warnings in we all ended up sleeping on a mattress in the kitchen. I just wanted my boys safe and all together! You were none the wiser to all this excitement though and weren't even impressed with our new sleeping arrangements.

This month you continued getting around more and more. You have taken a few steps here and there but you still like to hold hands and hold onto things. You love stairs and will take off like a shot towards any unattended stairs. You are very good at climbing them the problem is that when you are done climbing you just try to sit down and most of the time you would just topple back down if we weren't there to catch you. We've started letting you just crawl up the steps for bath time or diaper changes to let you get some practice and you love to crawl up and visit daddy in his office when he is at home. The look of pride on your face is priceless when you get to the top, if its possible you almost start crawling with swagger like "check me out". You are also starting to love doing things like unroll the toilet paper, run for the toilet to play in the water; basically you are starting this toddler destructive stuff. Its pretty funny right now but I'm sure it will get less funny soon :)

You also had your first year of the Labor Day Races and I'm so excited for the years to come. We've been going to the Island Heights Labor Day Races all of my life and I have only missed one year (last year because I was too pregnant), but more than me your Granny grew up going to the races and we have so much family history and physical family there that I just can't wait till you can participate. You loved watching your cousins do all the races this year, and you and cousin Lily were scouting out your competition for future races. Your dad and I raced in the Potato Relay, the 50 yd dash, the Three legged race and the pie eating contest this year to show you how it was done. You had a good time hanging with Granny, Uncle Wayne or any of the other family that was around while we were racing; I love that you are growing up with such a loving extended family. You are a blessed Bug!
You are just so fun Bug; you are a happy, silly, sweet, loving baby. I can't even describe how blessed I feel to be your mama. I love that right at this age we can make each other crack up with just a look. I can't wait to watch your sense of humor develop because you are so funny right now!! I can't even imagine how much laughter will fill our house in a few years and I look forward to it! Well I just look forward to more days spent with you and your dad to be honest. Now on the eve of your birthday I'm going to go up and kiss your sweet 11 month face and nestle you all snug in our bed.
I love you my sweet boy!
Your Mama

9 Month Newsletter

Oh my baby boy,
How is it that another month has past. I have so enjoyed watching you this month growing and changing. Its amazing watching someone adapt and change so much to the world around them, it inspires me to continue trying to change and better myself as well! I love watching you meet an obstacle and see your determination to overcome and get to your goal. You are a determined little boy, I know that the temptation will be there to control that but I pray that your daddy and I continue to encourage you to be the boy God made you. That determination will take you far.





This month brought about so many changes, the biggest is how vocal you have gotten. You have been saying Dada for a couple months already and Mama for not quite as long. Now you say Nana's for nursing which is ADORABLE. You also sing along with me when I sing songs and sometimes you just hum to yourself. You babble, screech, laugh and sing all the time. I love your little voice. You can click your tongue, play the recorder, and you also will hum while I pat your mouth to make silly noises. You also do this funny thing where you scrunch up your nose and breath in and out really fast, its so silly! You are quite the mimic and we will say things then randomly you will repeat them back to us; like Payton, Murdock, Good Boy. I wouldn't believe that you were doing it but other people hear it too.

This month you also took your first trips to the Beach! YOU LOVE IT!! You are definitely a bit timid when it comes to the ocean or the pool. You like to be right up on me with your head on my shoulders watching and you will sit like that and look at the ocean for a long time. If we are back at our blanket that's a different story. You love eating sand, much to Dada's chagrin. You also love the baby pool that Aunt Karen gave you and will happily sit in that for a long time. You also will actually nurse and take a good nap on the beach as well, which is SHOCKING(you are usually too busy in public to nurse or nap)! After we go to the beach we usually will go up for a walk on the boardwalk and you are even good for that!! I love that you love the ocean, I can't wait to watch you as you get older at the beach; jumping waves, making sand castles, having best friends for a day.

fun with the smallest three cousins

You are so happy, its pretty easy getting a laugh out of you. I try to make it my goal to get good belly laughs out of you every day and I don't think I've missed one. You are ticklish right up under your chin and on the top of your chest. Sneezing is hysterical to you, whether you are the sneezer or anyone else is. You love people and if someone is trying to get a smile or laugh from you, you are quick to happily oblige.

You are pulling yourself up on EVERYTHING, while you have stood before (with assistance) this month you have taken it to the next level. You pull yourself up whenever you can. You can also walk with the assistance of hands or furniture and take every opportunity. This is the first that we have needed to babyproof but you have gotten into everything this month. You love ripping books and paper, eating paper and make it your life's goal to grab my phone. You have moved from the army crawl to the full on regular crawl and you are quick to get where you want to go. A good amount of time is spent racing to electrical cords to try to eat them, ACH! So a good amount of my time is racing ahead of you to put them up and away.

You still are doing about the same with sleeping, some days that is harder on your mama than others. Generally though I try to remember that this is just a small small portion of my life that I get to have this special time with you and even in the middle of the night I try to appreciate that. I'm amazed though I can be nursing you to sleep and you will be sitting there with your eyes closed then flip over and start crawling without any hesitation. Usually you start laughing when you do this, you tricky baby :) You are just so curious that sleeping and eating take a back seat to exploring.

Bug and Payton's legs, oh my so sweet

Aunt Anna came to visit you from the frozen tundra of Minnesota and we had a crazy week visiting with them. We got to go to your cousin Gracie and Meghan's birthday party pig roast together. We had a blast visiting with family, singing karaoke and playing with the kids. It was so nice seeing Aunt Anna and her family and finally meeting your cousin Payton in person! You loved Payton but also loved Ryan and Kaila who were soo good with you! You also got to meet your Uncle Bill and Aunt Elrene from Michigan. We spent the week with Aunt Anna and family going to Philly(twice!), Ocean City, Seaside Heights, Granny's and Uncle Wil's then finally having one last breakfast out with them at the diner. It was so cute watching you with your cousins, your eyes lit up with them around you. We are really going to miss them!

We also have been hanging out with some great friends going strawberry, cherry and blueberry picking. You have so much fun with your sweet friends, sometimes you get so excited you bite them (and leave marks! ach!). It was pretty funny the day after you bit your little friend your other friend bit you and the look of indignation on your face was hysterical, I could just hear what you were thinking "why would anyone bite me!?! that hurt!" Overall you play well together, as well as babies play together anyway. Mostly you just steal toys from each other.
This month was chock full of activity and business and thankfully you go with the flow pretty well, sometimes better than your mommy. Having you with me really makes me try to slow down and enjoy things more. I know when we are super busy I'm missing little things like a toothy smile over a long breakfast, how you rub my arm as you fall asleep or the lengths that you will go to zerbert me. Those things make my day and make this Mommy gig, which is the toughest job of my life, more than worth it.

I am excited to see where this next month brings us, I have my ideas of the things you are just about to learn but I know you are going to do things on your own time schedule. I'm just happy to be on this crazy ride with you.

Love always,
Your mama

5 Month Newsletter

Dear Buggy,

Every month I say I can't believe that you are another month older and its true. I've been staring at you all morning wondering how it is my little 7lb 9oz infant has grown and changed so much! It is a great reminder to stop what I'm doing and just enjoy you. This month has brought about so much change!

look you are all grown up and a Flyers goalie! Where did my baby go?

You started rolling over!! Its crazy watching you because you have to get pretty worked up to do it, you grunt and fuss but eventually you flip over. Once you do you are pleased as punch though.
Also you got two teeth! TWO! On Feb 21st your two bottom teeth came in. I remember the exact moment, we were in the car and daddy was driving and I was riding with you because you were fussing (probably because your teeth were poking you!) You were chewing on my hand then all the sudden you bit me! Wow, those little chompers are sharp!!! Daddy and I are very wary about putting our fingers in your mouth now because you love biting everything! You love kisses too and will just open your mouth and "kiss" all over my face :)

Speaking of biting, you have been so interested in watching us eat lately. Every time I take a drink of water you tip your head back and open your mouth. You watch us most intently while we are eating though. I have even let you start chewing on some veggies; a carrot, celery stick and sugar snap peas. You are VERY interested in that. "this duck is kinda creeping me out"

I'm excited for you to grow and experience new things but the thought of you eating anything other than momma's milk has me so sad. I have loved nursing you, it has had its own challenges but holding you in my arms and feeding you is the most special thing. It allows me the time to slow down and just look at you. I know I'll be nursing you for a long time to come but this coming milestone is bittersweet for me. We will definitely be waiting for at least 6 months to start actually feeding you things (instead of just letting you bite!).
You are so smiley and boy are you LOUD! You love to talk, squeal, sing and screech. Whenever I'm on the phone people are always laughing at how loud you are. You are also quite the flirt, you love smiling at pretty girls. Last Sunday in church you were distracting all the teenage girls behind you (the very gorgeous William's girls) with your smiles. It was so funny! You do that to me though too, I'll want to do the dishes or something dumb like that and you just look at me and smile and a half hour later we are still playing. Making you laugh is like an addiction!

you and your "girlfriend" Kira

You are the ultimate morning person you generally need a diaper change at around 4:30 every day and Daddy generally takes one for the team on that one. You wake up with the biggest smile though, its really adorable. You will just sit and smile and talk and take one hand and put it on my arm and one hand on your daddy's arm. It's so cute, you love our little family :) Most of the time after your diaper is changed you will settle down, nurse and go back to sleep; this month Daddy has even started to need his alarm clock again! Some mornings you will even sleep till 8 or 8:30 (THANK YOU!!), I feel so bad for Daddy when that happens because he doesn't get his special Buggy Time before work. He definitely makes up for it when he gets home and carries you around most of the night. I can't even describe the look you have when you look at your Daddy, just pure Awe. We were in church and singing a praise and worship song to God and you were looking at your Daddy with such love and amazement; I just laughed and told your Daddy it seemed like you were singing to him.

you and your daddy at the Discovery Museum watching HOCKEY!!

We have started being able to go outside more and we both are enjoying that. Although when the wind blows you don't quite know what to do. You just shut your eyes tight and hold your breath!

Another thing you love is BATHTIME!! Oh my you love bath time. You are like a little fish! I'm convinced that you think you can swim as you are always trying to throw yourself underwater or gently lower yourself. You will quietly stick your face in the water and when I lift you out you are like "what? was that a problem?". I can't wait to get you in a pool or in the ocean to see if you are the little water baby I think you are.

making our first craft, Valentine's Day Cards

That's pretty much how things go around here right now. I'm so excited for where we are at and excited for the things to come. While a piece of me mourns every milestone because it means my little baby isn't such a little baby anymore. You are such a sweet boy and your smile lights up my life in a way I've never known before!
Love always,
Your Mama

This Moment

Sitting here with my sleeping babe
Sun streaming in the window
Diapers drying on the rack
Breakfast dishes on the table (Irish Oats)
French Press coffee freshly made

I never knew my life could be so wonderful. This moment of peace fills me for the rest of the day.

2 Month Letter

My Dearest Buggy,
Its hard to believe another month has past! You have changed so much in the past month, and even though I didn't think it was possible I love you more. You are such a fun little guy, your daddy and I are really enjoying having you interact more with us. One of our favorite times is Saturday mornings, you usually wake up pretty cheerful and we love cuddling with you. You LOVE kisses and we play a little game where we sit on opposite sides of you and take turns kissing your cheeks, you turn your head from side to side with big smiles!! Your smile is the best thing I've ever seen, I love making you smile. Whether its a sweet little sleep smile, or a nursing smile or a big old giggly smile they all make me melt. I've had a hard time capturing it on film because usually my focus is on making you smile more.

We've definitely caught our groove with the nursing, and we've even nursed while walking around Target! Don't worry you were all covered, we weren't flashing anyone :) Last month I was scared we would never leave the house but we have and even took our first trip to Hershey Park! Your dad and I celebrate the anniversary of our first date by going to Hershey every year during Christmastime, its also the place where your dad proposed to me. the exact spot where your dad proposed to me

You slept for most of it but we're so excited to do it every year and can see how fun its going to be as you get older. It was sooo cold, your dad was worried if it would be too cold for you to be outside but you were nice and cozy with me wearing you in your Moby wrapped in a blanket.

thats you under that blanket all snuggly!

You still LOVE to be worn and I wear you most of the time, I can count on one hand the number of times you've been in your stroller. Sometimes I just bring it to store the diaper bag and still wear you. Its so nice holding you as we go through our day, I love my snuggly little man. busy playing on your playmat

I brought you into the office this month and you were so good, I was able to work for 4 hours both wearing you and having you play on your playmat. You've been letting me work a few hours a day at home as well, you entertain yourself really well with your play mat and just looking around. You have started to look around more and take in whats around you. I love watching you discover things, the funniest has been your tongue. Its so cute watching you stick out your tongue and play with it. You've even started licking us sometimes when we kiss you its pretty funny.

You are sleeping better, in the past few nights you've gone for like 4-5 hours of straight sleep. Umm seriously this has been AMAZING! To tell the truth though I went in expecting you not to sleep so even though I was tired it didn't bother me to wake up to change and nurse you. Taking care of you has been the most rewarding job of my life, I love being your mommy!

This month we also found out you need to have minor surgery on your eyelid. Its the first time that I really feel like I can't protect you and it kills me. I know that this is just the first time of many that I will have to watch you go through trials without being able to take them away from you. You are my gift from God, so I trust you in His hands and place you in them every day in prayer. I know that your life experiences and how you choose to view them will make you the man you're going to be; good or bad. So even though I can't take this trial from you I plan to model my faith to you that you will learn that through anything we can trust God.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."Matthew 10:29-31

God has numbered the very hairs on your head, He loves you my boo. Its hard for me to believe but He loves you even more than I do.

I love you so, my Bug, and look forward to getting to know you more as the months go by. Sometimes I just wish we could pause it a bit, its going so fast! I can't wait to see where this month is going to bring us and what new tricks you're going to learn. I can't wait to make the memory of your first Christmas! To celebrate the New Year with you, you've already shown me so much more hope and promise than any new year could.

Love Always,
Your mama

1 month letter

Dear Buggaboo (Bugs, Bugsy, Chunky Monkey, Boo Boo Face, Sweetie Boy),
I can't believe it was only one month ago today that we first saw your sweet face. It seems like forever ago and just a moment ago at the same time. To say you've turned my life upside down is an understatement, but the biggest change was my heart. I've never loved so much. When I was dating your dad I said that it made me understand God's love for me a little more because I had never known love like that before. You have shown me yet another depth of love, and I'm amazed again at God's love for me. I keep saying I can't believe that God gave his only son for me, that is a love that I cannot even fathom. I pray every day to live that out in my life that I can be an example to you of this great love.


We are starting to catch our groove with each other. Nights are sometimes rough, you usually wake up about 2 times a night. A good number of those nights though I admit to staying awake much longer than needed to just look at you. Nursing has been one of the sweetest experiences of my life, it has come with its own set of obstacles but nothing out of the ordinary. I'm amazed that the only sustenance you've ever had has come from me. I'm still not so great at nursing in public so we haven't gone out too much or for too long, I'm hoping to get better this month and get out of the house more.

I love watching you with your daddy, he loves you so much. Every night you fall asleep on his chest, he usually falls asleep too. I didn't think it was possible but you've made me fall more in love with your daddy more. I'm amazed that God used the two of us to make you, I love looking at you and seeing all the ways you look like your daddy, EVERYONE says you look just like him. I pray that you grow up to be a good man just like him.
You are out of newborn clothes and some of the 3 months are a stretch for you as well. Daddy has weighed you a few times and the last time we checked you were around 11.5lbs, we'll find out next Friday for sure what you are up to. I love wearing you and it seems your favorite place to be is in the Moby. One day daddy came home and kissed your head and said you smelled like Chicken soup, well that's what I had for lunch and I'd been kissing your head all afternoon. You don't seem to mind though so I keep wearing you.

I love you with all my heart little one, and I'm so thankful that you've made me a "mommy". I feel like all my life I've been waiting and preparing for this, to be a wife to your daddy and a mommy to you. I promise to do my best by you.

Love,
Your mama

The Birth of my Little Man

Baby Bam Bam

So this week has been a bit busy. About 4 hours after I wrote that last post I went into labor with my little man. After a long labor he was born on 10/5/10 at 3:11pm weighing 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. The labor, birth and reality of having a son have rocked my world. I feel so incredibly blessed right now.

Birth Story-Long version ** I am a doula and I go into detail here so if you don't feel comfortable reading the birth story from my perspective do not continue**

Monday morning I woke up about 4:30 shivering uncontrollably. I went to the bathroom then came back to bed to get under as many blankets as I could. About a half hour later my contractions started. They started out about 5 minute apart lasting about a minute each, I jumped in the shower to see what would happen. They got a bit more intense and the hubs popped his head in to see what was going on and if he should go to work that day. We figured it would be a good idea for him to stay home, and called my awesome doula, Mama K at about 6 am, and did a few laps around the block. We lapped the block a few more times, watched Flight of the Conchords and I took alot of showers. It started to get pretty intense at about 11:30 am and I felt best laying in bed; the contractions were about 2-3 min apart. The hubs called the midwives and they said to head on into the hospital.

I was extremely anxious about going into the hospital; terrified of having unnecessary procedures, of having my blood pressure go up because of anxiety. The whole hospital part of the birth scared the tar out of me and I think the decision to go in then stalled me out a bit because after that the contractions spaced out again at around 3-4pm. We ended up going out to dinner and while there they picked up a bit then we went over and walked the mall, then we headed home. Mama K headed home to see her little guys for a little bit with instructions for us to call her when things got going again.

They did start picking up again around 10pm, and at about midnight we headed to the hospital. My thinking was that I would sit in the parking lot until I just couldn't stand it then head in, and maybe walk around the parking lot in the meantime. Well it was raining and freezing so that made that difficult, the hubs and I did lap the hospital a couple of times but ended up going home again as the contractions seemed to space out again.

When we got home, I tried to sleep. The contractions were making that impossible, I was exhausted and in a good amount of pain. I called my mom for her advice knowing that if I got too tired there was no way I was going to be able to push this kid out, she basically told me the same thing. What finally made up my mind was that if we got to the hospital and things petered out at least I could get some sleep if they didn't then woo-hoo baby time. So we called Mama K and headed on in. I had to be on monitors for 20 min out of the hour but for the other 40 minutes I was able to labor in the shower, walk around, use the birth ball, listen to music,etc. The 20 minutes in bed were the hardest for me, the contractions just slammed me with back pain. Mama K and the hubs were wonderful in here; offering counter pressure, sips of water, walking with me, distracting me. It was funny I would be doing one thing then remember, hey if I were my doula this is what I would say and it would really help me, the one thing that really helped was the vocalizing making the low hmmmm noises and focusing. I remember during my contractions in bed I focused so hard on the bassinet which was directly in front of me. Towards the end I was so tired I was delirious, I remember just mumbling gibberish then realizing it was gibberish.

Here is the timeline for my dilation during all this at 4 am they checked me and I was 4 cm dilated, at 0 to -1 station and 80% effaced. Then at 6 am I was 6cm and 90 % effaced, at 8 am I was 8 cm and 90% effaced (see a pattern here??). At 10 am I was still at 8 cm and 90% but by noon I was at 9.5 cm with an anterior lip and 100% effaced. The midwife asked me if I wanted to have my water broken at this point and we decided that it probably would just help move things along. She broke my water at 12:30.

At this point we had that lull that they promise every laboring mom. Oh it was so appreciated as I was so incredibly tired from being up since about 5 am the day before laboring. The nurse walked in at one point here and I jokingly asked her if I could have my epidural now. She did such a double take cause I did it with a smile on my face calm as can be, lol. I was pretty happy because this was the only point that I asked for anything and I was just kidding around. What really helped me with this was I requested not to be offered any type of pain medication, they abided by my wishes and my stubborn Irish self wouldn't ask to save my life :).

I started pushing at 2:07. Wow, NOTHING could have prepared me for that. The midwife gave me full discretion to push in whatever position felt good to me and it seemed to be hugging the back of the bed on my hands and knees. I just remember while pushing having such doubt if he would ever come, if I could do it. I started praying in between the contractions asking God to help me, to give me strength, to get this baby out of me! The nurse told me later that I also politely asked the baby "Get out of me! Please!!". After pushing in that position for awhile I moved to stand next to the bed bent over the bed pushing, I kept feeling the midwife underneath me putting the monitor on my belly to get the heart rate and wondering where the heck she was to be doing this. At this point they realize that my hep lock (port for IV) came out so they were trying to clean up the blood on my arm from that, that gave me something else to focus on while pushing so that was good. I could feel his head coming out but no one was saying anything so I figured I was wrong, I was having so much self doubt here. I remember thinking if that isn't his head this labor is going to kill me. The midwife said for the next contraction she wanted me in bed using the squat bar so I did that and his head came out on the next push. She wasn't ready and didn't have her gloves on so she was yelling at me to stop pushing!! I started crying because its impossible to stop and I thought there was something wrong with him (ie cord wrapped around his neck, not breathing). Oh I was soo mad when I found out that it was just because she didn't have gloves on!!

All that was quickly forgotten at 3:11pm when she placed my sweet man on my stomach. I was so overcome with emotion, I couldn't do anything but just cry. I was so in love with this little baby boy and with my husband, I couldn't believe that one room could contain it.