Long Weekend

This weekend is a little bittersweet for us, the hubs twin brother and family are moving to Virginia on Sat. They currently live about .5 mile away so I was kind of hoping our kids would grow up together but no such luck.
There is a ton of fun stuff going on though, tomorrow I'm heading out to Ocean City NJ to get my beach tags and possibly have some beach time. Then we're having a little BBQ in honor of the VA transplants. Then Sat we have a bbq welcoming home a good friend that moved to Washington State and recently had brain surgery; I can't wait to see her as I've been praying like a fiend for her. Sunday looks like I'm going bowling to celebrate one of my oldest friend's birthday, ha ha oldest friend.. Oh wait, she's younger than me...
Then Monday I'm going to said friends parents house for an annual softball game and picnic.

Pretty busy weekend planned, any big plans?

It took me 3 years to realize

That "all natural, organic" deodorants just don't cut it for me, and yes, I've tried every kind. I finally broke down and bought a Dove deodorant yesterday and I'm enjoying smelling good. My super spidey pregnancy sniffer maybe who to thank for this change but it was bound to happen sooner or later. I officially resign my status as a smelly hippy, you can now just refer to me as a hippy.

Its a Boy!!!

We had our ultrasound this morning. I couldn't sleep all last night I was so worried/excited. Everything went so well though, the baby is measuring perfect we watched his little heart pump away. He was moving and jumping all over the place so much so that the hubs was like "WHOAH DO YOU FEEL THAT?!", the look on his face was priceless. I just fell in love with little Bam Bam that much more watching him move around and wave to us. It was so amazing to be able to count little fingers and toes right on the screen. I'm so amazed and so thankful for our little boy!

Mother's Day

This is the first Mother's Day that I can celebrate and I celebrate as a Mother of two; with one baby in heaven and one baby in my womb. I'm so thankful this day for the child living within me, for this incredible answer to prayer. I'm thankful for my amazing partner and the love of my life and that our journey this year has brought us even closer together. I anxiously look forward to meeting our little one, counting fingers and toes and kissing little baby cheeks. My days are mostly filled with promise and hope thinking of the future.

There is also an ache that is ever present, wondering what might have been. My first child would have been due in just a few days, I find myself wondering if he would have been early I might already be holding my child. I look at my friends that are due this month and I find myself slipping into thinking what might have been.

Today I pray a peaceful Mother's Day to those with empty arms and mourning hearts. I pray that they may find some joy today in the middle of a day that can be so painful.

New Masthead

I do feel like I'm living my dream. I married the best person I've ever met, sometimes (especially when the hormones attack) I get a little annoyed at my wonderful hubs but he really is the man of my dreams. We have a nice little place to live, I love our neighborhood, our church which is nearby and our little house. Finally the dream I've had all my life of being a mom. I've got my little bean percolating inside and I'm so excited for this new adventure. Things are good :)

I got the car buying blues

So about two weeks ago my little engine that could became a little engine that couldn't anymore. Since then we've been looking for a new car, I haven't been in the market for a car for a good long time (I had my old car for about 10 years). Jason and I are fairly conservative financially and personally don't feel right in getting a car loan. I hate debt and we've successfully avoided it thus far (except for the mortgage) and I really really don't want to add another debt as well as another person to our family. So with this said we're looking for a reliable older model 4 door or minivan., we've found we can afford a pretty decent minivan per our research on Kelley Blue Book. Problem is that there is a ridiculous shortage on used cars so the used cars that are out there are at ridiculously inflated prices. All this adds up to a supremely frustrated Dirkey.
Thankfully my brother in law (who lives the next street over) has been giving me rides to work as its on his way, which is an awesome blessing. I'm just praying that we find something soon and wondering if I should just bite the bullet and get a loan.

Anyone have any tips for me?

HUGE sigh of relief

Last night I was at a benefit concert for Haiti and saw about 1,000 people that I knew. Of course it got around that we were expecting, well all last night I was freaking the crap out. I was so worried that I Murphy's Lawed myself out of this pregnancy. Completely rational I know. Thankfully we had our appointment today we had already seen the heartbeat but we hadn't heard it yet. I was practically having a panic attack as we're walking in. Thankfully the midwife I see is awesome and completely reassuring. She advised that we might not hear the baby's heartbeat but to save me from certain freak out she would bring in the ultrasound so we could see the baby if we couldn't hear the heartbeat. So I sat there trying to breath in and breath out an not freak out as she started looking for the heartbeat, literally 5 seconds later we heart the gallop of our little lobsters heart. Such an incredible sound, I totally think my baby has the cutest heartbeat of any baby around.

In other news we drove my little car into the ground this weekend. Which is fine since we were in the market for a 4 door anyway it just makes us look sooner rather than later.

Completely Irrational

So I've been doing pretty good with this pregnancy. Mostly I'm just beat tired, I could (and sometimes do) sleep whenever possible. I haven't had morning sickness too bad, but I have had nausea and some crazy food aversions.

Things that are currently ridiculously disgusting to me:
chicken, turkey, eggs, ice cream, anything in my refrigerator, any meat that is not beef.

Whats been killing me is that I'll go grocery shopping and two days later everything that was ok the week before is suddenly disgusting to me now.

I'm not complaining at all about this cause, I know people have it soo much worse and its for a good reason. Also, I have not been cradling the porcelain god so I am happy. It just makes for interesting meals. Like today nothing at all was remotely appealing to pack for lunch so I got to work and it got to lunch time. I started going through our work file of menus and EVERYTHING looked disgusting and by this point I'm shaking cause my blood sugar is low and I need to eat something. What do I do, I started to cry at my desk. Yep 31 yr old big girl crying at her desk cause she needs to eat lunch and doesn't want anything; it wasn't pretty. I had to talk myself down from the ledge, completely irrational. I ended up just getting some breadsticks cause thats the only thing I could remotely imagine eating and now I'm feeling a bit better.

One good thing-pregnancy pants.
Dude EVERYONE should wear them. They are sooo comfy. I felt funny breaking them out but my appendix scar has been bugging me and the waistband of my other pants sits right on it, not fun. I might buy a pair for my buffet loving brother and sister in law for Christmas.

Cloth Diapering Amazingness!

So this little lobster is getting cloth diapers, way more for frugal reasons than for any other but the environmental issues did weigh in in our decision making. The hubs is totally on board with it, I think it made it easier that he learned how to do cloth with the twins and realized its not that difficult. Thankfully I have some IRL friends that use cloth on their tots that have totally helped me decide what I do and don't need. When we had the twins we purchased about 2 dozen prefolds and about 6 covers in medium size; which is awesome now cause that money was long ago spent and doesn't impact our current budget. In the past week or so I've gotten awesome gifts and loans of more cloth diapers. One of my former doula clients and friends gave us on loan 32 Swaddlebees with a bunch of newborn covers, woolies and fleece. Another friend who is on her last babe passed along a bunch of prefolds. My dear friend, Mama K, has said she would help me organize my stash and see if there are any holes (as well as pass along on loan some of her small ones). I also won the most adorable medium cover from Deb at Made By Mama by being her fan on Facebook.

As it looks now we pretty much are set for diapering our babe in October. I'm just so incredibly thankful that this is working out so early in my pregnancy and I don't need to worry about it later on. I'm also so thankful that I have friends and family that already do alot of the things that the hubs and I would like to do with our child. What a wonderful support network already in place.

I am blessed.

70X7

Matthew 18:21-22
²¹Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

²²Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Wow this is so hard for me sometimes. I'm struggling right now with forgiveness and here's the thing. The person that has hurt me, they probably don't even realize/care that they have. I am called as a Christian to love them and forgive, but for some reason this one is really hard for me. I keep thinking that I do act like this to God all the time, and he forgives me. Where would I be without that forgiveness, I shudder to even think. So how do you forgive when people don't ask for forgiveness and to confront them is to call them a liar. I'm at a loss but I'm praying that God will continue to work on me, that I will love as I'm called that God will grant me wisdom to know how to deal with people like this.

Any suggestions?

-This person, to my knowledge, does not read this blog and I'm trying to keep as anonymous on it as I can so no guesses please.

Dream

So this morning I woke up at 3:30 am after having a dream. It wasn't a bad dream it was one of those ones you kind of wish you could fall back asleep and revisit. I had a very vivid dream about my best friend Amanda. I was at a spending time at her house with her and it was obvious that I was in her world. She was doing great with a whole host of friends and a lovely house. The house was one of those ones that you would love to explore with nooks and cranys and odd spaces. I was able to tell her my news and see her reaction. It was one of those dreams thats like a gift to you. I've gotten several gifts like this since Amanda had passed but this one was special because its been so long and my news is something we both dreamed about all growing up; to be moms. I got to tell her all about Jason and then tell her my news, it was so nice. Its still amazing to me that you can miss someone so much after so long, but I'm so glad I got to share with my first bff if only in a dream.

I wasn't going to share my news on my blog just yet but I couldn't keep that dream to myself. I don't want to forget it.

We are due 10/10/10 and are so incredibly excited. We saw our little lobsters (what the baby looks like on the ultrasound) heartbeat last Tuesday and it was so incredibly amazing to watch that little heart going.

Prayers Please

Yesterday, as most of you probably know, Haiti was hit with a rather large earthquake. Haiti is the poorest country on the Western Hemisphere and one of the poorest in the world. I've had the privilege of going to Haiti twice in my life. Once to New Missions then the next time to Hope Alive Clinic (that trip was about 6 weeks) both trips had a profound impact on me. The conditions normally aren't that good in Haiti, I can't even imagine them now with all the devastation I see in the pictures on the news.

Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers as well as these ministries as they try to help people as best they can. Also keep my friend Melody's sister and her family in your prayers.

Pics from my trips to Haiti.

As they say in Creole Kris Kapob!, Christ is Able!

If you are looking for a way to donate, Hope Alive has a link on their website through Paypal. They are one of the most ethical ministries I have ever known, 100% of money donated goes to Haiti. My good friend Becky's parents started this.

Check your Receipts

So one way that I save a good amount of money is checking my receipts when I'm grocery shopping. I've saved so much money by just making sure that the prices I paid were the prices advertised. Most grocery stores have some type of scan rite guarantee where if an item scans for higher than it shows on the shelf you get that item for free. Some times they will not automatically do this and try to give you the difference between the prices but if you ask them if that is their policy they usually will give you the item for free. Went on a quick trip to the grocery store on Monday and ended up with beets and spaghetti squash for free, saved a little over $7 by just making a quick little scan of my receipt.
Just a little something that doesn't take too much time but can really add up.

Office Makeover

I was asked to show you the pictures of our famous Office Makeover and have been seriously neglectful. To be an effective before and after I would have before pictures. I was ashamed, soo ashamed, too ashamed to take pictures of the before. It was bad. This is the only thing I can find and it really doesn't do it justice.

So I'm going to need you to use your imagination. First the desk is empty, it was never empty imagine it filled with paperwork and computer parts that if you moved anything something would fall off like those games at the shore where you drop a quarter trying to get piles of quarters to fall (anyone know what I'm talking about? no.. just me..) You see in the corner of the picture there you can see a lime green futon. Now if you can imagine a huge futon with a ridiculous amount of stuff piled on it to the extent you can barely see that its LIME GREEN and there is no way you could possibly sit on it. Now the floor, you can kind of see the floor, well now imagine that being completely covered in papers, and the closet just jam packed. Wherever there wasn't a pile imagine some type of musical equipment. There, now you have a mental picture of before we reorganized our office.

Now for the after
This is our new desk, the hubs and I are sharing the office so we do have two printers. The walls are all him though. He loves Blues Brothers so theres a good amount of Blues Brothers paraphernalia. There's a painting that I painted for him for his birthday inspired by The Flight of the Conchords. The hubs has a good amount of equipment in here for work to enable him to work from home, so its hard to pare down too much, but it seems workable.
You can see his video conference setup, our printers, a stool and our bookcase (all technical books). What you can't see is even better, no piles on the floor. Also you can see our filing cabinet which we're now using.
We moved a corner piece from our couch up here and its perfect for me to come and sit and talk or for him to play guitar on.

This is a view from the door, we have guitars hung from the one wall, with the closet near the window (which is organized but don't have pictures of). And of course kitten cat snuggle fluffle pants had to get in on the action as he's NEVER allowed in this room.

No TV?!?!

Yeah we're thinking about it. Thats right taking the plunge and getting rid of our cable and possibly our tv. Its just a thought right now but one we're giving serious attention.

Our current contract is up on Jan 14th and as it looks now we'll be getting rid of the cable. I found a high speed internet and phone bundle thats $55 a month, currently we're paying $125 for our Phone, Internet and Cable (plus a DVR). So just by cutting the cable we'd be able to put $70 more a month towards our mortgage which adds up to a whopping $840 for the year. We do have our laptops so we'd be able to catch some shows on Hulu and we do have Netflix (for now) so I don't think it would hurt too badly. The main thing would be that the hubs wouldn't be able to watch sports.

As far as the tv, we have one of the flat screen wall mount jobs and I think its just too much for us. If we don't have high definition channels I don't think its worth it to have the tv either. If we sell it now I think we'd be able to get a good amount of money for it to also put on the mortgage. I have a very romantic idea of not having a tv in the house and how much I would get done in a day. I have crazy notions about a good amount of things though so we'll see if it comes to fruition or not. The hubs is still on the fence so I guess I'll let you know what we decide. We're going to have to figure it out soon!

Anybody gone and rid your house of the tv? cable? What are your thoughts

New Look

So I updated the look of the blog. The header is from our big 2 ft snow storm we had Dec 19th. Its been a long time since I've seen that much snow at home but it was neat while it lasted (only about a week). The past year wasn't the best I've ever had, while it had some wonderful things in it, it also held alot of heartbreak. I'm happy to shut the door on 2009 and focus on 2010 and the things we can change. Hence the digging ourselves out bit. There have been a few times lately that I've felt that I was stuck at the bottom of a pit, the only way to go is up and I'm starting the climb. Thankfully I have a wonderful climbing partner in the hubs and amazing footholds in scripture and my faith. Well enough cheesy analogies for ya and you're welcome for finally changing my fall banner :)

Happy New Year to Ya!

Hope you guys all had a great and safe new year! The hubs and I did, we were able to spend it with good friends. We made some goals for ourselves as a couple and as individuals this year and posted them by the bathroom mirror where we see them twice a day. I don't want to call them New Year's Resolutions because people never follow through with them but they are our goals and where we'd like to see ourselves by the end of the year.
Our goals as a couple are:
1. We'd like to walk together at least 5 nights a week.

We want to be more physically fit as a couple and regularly walking would be a good
start. It also gives us a chance to talk without getting to distracted by tv or the computer.

2. We want to pay off 50% of the remaining debt in our second mortage

I've been reading so much about setting up a financial plan. Generally, the hubs and I
are pretty good with money and budgets. I tend to be the spendier one in the family but neither of us is a fan of debt. Our only debt right now is our mortgage but we have two of them. I'm praying that we are able to pay off our second mortage within this year but the goal is just for 50% of our remaining debt in our second mortgage to be paid off. Once we have it completely paid off we're going to go aggressive on our first. If I had to do again, I think I would have rented and saved up to flat out buy our first home no matter how long it took. Live and Learn right...

3. We want to read through the Bible as a couple.

With this we both want to grow as Christians and as a couple. This will be a great way to grow and challenge each other. I'm so excited to do it!! It is a pretty aggressive reading to me but I'm excited for the challenge.

Anyone else setting some goals for this year??

Merry Christmas!

So I have been so bad with this blog. Some days I feel like updating but I just don't get around to it. Life has been pretty good around here, we're getting ready for Christmas. The hubs and I just sent out our Christmas cards today. I'm two sock monkeys into the nine I want to make for Christmas. I have my good friend Mama K coming in this Friday for some candy making and possibly will be making some cookies as well. We have all our decorations up and most of our presents wrapped (which should make Christmas Eve much better).

We've been trying to take the time to really celebrate the birth of our Savior and giving to those around us. We're planning on going carolling tonight with the youth group at our church, going to a Living Nativity in the area, spending time being thankful, we've been doing an advent wreath at our house and taking time to spend with good friends.

We're praying that this coming year will be filled with joy, prosperity, love and hope for all that we know. We're also praying that we would be blessed with a little baby Dirkey this year.

So yeah thats what we're up to, what you doing?

Day #22 and Day #23 of Thankfullness

#22 I'm so thankful for our cars. I can't imagine trying to do the things I do so easily every day without the convenience of having a car. Our little family is so blessed to have two of them. Even in their advanced age and mileage they treat us very well and have been so reliable, the extra grunts and noises mine makes as it ages remind me that I need to appreciate having a car even more so. Its taken me so far in life, from being single living in my parents house, to moving out on my own, to moving back home, to married life and parking outside of our own house. Its taken me to my jobs every day, through the changing seasons, to visit friends, to the hospital to visit relatives and to funerals. I've driven to Canada, to Memphis, to the Outer Banks and to multiple trips to visit the hubs when he lived so far away. I'm so thankful for my little car, its treated me well in the nine years that I've had her.

#23 I'm so thankful to have the day to spend with the hubs to mark a HUGE item off of our checklist, his office. We had it piled with too much stuff and too much furniture and it just wasn't working. My brother gave us a gorgeous desk to replace our old Target special. The gorgeous desk is HUGE and has tons of drawers where we were able to organize everything away, we also did about 4 years of filing (yes from piles and boxes of random papers), and moved out a huge lime green futon. It is now a functional office with one desk, a chair and a stool for when he plays guitar (like right now-ignore my paleness).

if you see that closet in the corner this morning it was insane. You couldn't get within two feet of the door and now it is crazy organized. Ahh feels so good to get something under control that has been a "door closer" for so long. A door closer is when you just shut the door when you have company instead of leaving it open, no matter how many times I've shut that door people always end up in it. So yay! I can keep it open now!!!

Day #21 of Thankfullness

Today I'm thankful that we have some time off together this week. Both the hubs and I took off this week to finish some projects around the house. Currently we are cleaning and reorganizing the hub's office, defrosting our freezer and doing laundry. On the plate for this week: finishing the trim work in the downstairs, doing the finish work on the floors, repainting and spackling whatever needs to be done, tightening the kitchen faucet, painting the outside trim, cleaning our laundry room and finally DECORATING FOR CHRISTMAS!! So yes, the time off is well needed right now and very much appreciated.
With all these things done it will help us to slow down and appreciate the time we have with family over the holidays. Besides that I'm just happy to spend the time with the hubs.