Ptosis Surgery Update

So on Dec 23rd, Bug had his Ptosis surgery. It was so hard driving him in while he was screaming in the backseat because he was starving. It took two hours from then for them to take him back for surgery so the poor boy hadn't eating in about 5 hours. When we got into pre-op they had us change him into a hospital gown, dude, baby gowns are soo sad. They weighed him again and he is 97% for height and weight, the boy knows how to nurse! Then the surgeon and the anesthesiologist came in to meet with us. We prayed over the Bug then handed him over, hardest thing I've ever done.

They sent us to a waiting room for the parents of kids in surgery, we were at CHOP (Children's Hospital of Pennsylvania). I thought CHOP handled this part really well, they had people coming in and updating all the parents on that status of the surgeries about every 30-40 minutes. When Bugs surgery was done the surgeon came in to talk to us and told us it was successful and that we would be called back to see him in a few minutes, once he woke up from anesthesia.

Nothing could have ever prepared me for what we saw when we went back. My boy had so much attached to him (IV, blood pressure cuff, pulse oxygen monitor, heart monitor, etc). The first thing I saw was a bottle though and I think all my anxiety flew onto the nurse. I was soo mad they gave him a bottle, don't they know that Breast is Best?!!! They finally gave him to me after what seemed like forever and I couldn't believe what I saw. He was swollen and bloody. The hubs and I were horrified that we had chosen to do this to our son. After about an hour they let us bring him home.

He seemed to be fine once we got him home. He just seemed like he was in a little bit of pain so we gave him a dose of Tylenol. I just kept staring at my poor boy. His right eye was swollen shut that day. He nursed fine on both sides though, which was one of my worries. We have to put ointment in his eye every two hours and he's on an oral antibiotic 3x a day which is interesting to say the least. He is a very strong, very stubborn little boy.

As the dust settles and the swelling goes down the hubs and I both realize how he needed this surgery. He looks around at things like he's never seen them, its so easy to tell that the surgery was necessary. He loves his swing now and sitting up; before he would fuss at either (I think because his eyelid would shut so he couldn't see that well in that position). Its so nice to see him sitting up and looking at me with his big dimply smile. We are blessed.

Praying tonight for a bloggy mommy that I read who was blessed with twin baby girls only to lose one. My heart breaks for her.

All I want for Christmas is.....

This is Bug's first Christmas and I'm really wanting to set the tone for years to come. We are doing a very simple Christmas. I got him some socks and pjs, a childrens nativity, and some wooden teethers; that's it. I'm making him a few things; his first sock monkey, a sweet little hat and some cloth wipes. I really want to make sure that our family Christmas isn't about gifts but about spending time together and about celebrating our faith. I know we have a few years before the lil guy will remember these Christmases but I know that it will take a couple years to de-program myself and the hubs. I do really like giving gifts and would LOVE to spoil the boy with everything he could possibly want. However, I know from my time working at the preschool that the more toys kids have the less they play with them. I also know that having so much stuff in my house would drive me insane and that would not be good for the tone of our house.

The hubs and I are also doing a minimalist Christmas. We are doing a $5 limit and are getting the most ridiculous thing we can find. I CAN'T WAIT to see what he finds. I am also going to make him something, and fill his stocking with some needs and some little odds and ends.

I've been so bothered lately by some of the commercials, especially the jewelry store ones. "Every kiss begins with Kay" and others that basically say that the only way to express or receive love is lavish gifts. This bothers me so much. I'm the first to admit that I have gotten jewelry and loved it for certain occasions but my relationship is not dependent on my husband getting me lavish and expensive gifts. I want to find different and unique ways of expressing love without giving in to our culture of overspending and excessiveness.

My bug was all I really wanted this year and now that he's here I want to focus on showing him what is important in life. Wishing you and your families a very Merry Christmas, however you choose to celebrate.

Fun at the Docs

So we've been hanging at doctors offices but we've been trying to make it fun. Thankfully the Bug is a pretty silly guy. Here's him figuring out his tongue :)

2 Month Letter

My Dearest Buggy,
Its hard to believe another month has past! You have changed so much in the past month, and even though I didn't think it was possible I love you more. You are such a fun little guy, your daddy and I are really enjoying having you interact more with us. One of our favorite times is Saturday mornings, you usually wake up pretty cheerful and we love cuddling with you. You LOVE kisses and we play a little game where we sit on opposite sides of you and take turns kissing your cheeks, you turn your head from side to side with big smiles!! Your smile is the best thing I've ever seen, I love making you smile. Whether its a sweet little sleep smile, or a nursing smile or a big old giggly smile they all make me melt. I've had a hard time capturing it on film because usually my focus is on making you smile more.

We've definitely caught our groove with the nursing, and we've even nursed while walking around Target! Don't worry you were all covered, we weren't flashing anyone :) Last month I was scared we would never leave the house but we have and even took our first trip to Hershey Park! Your dad and I celebrate the anniversary of our first date by going to Hershey every year during Christmastime, its also the place where your dad proposed to me. the exact spot where your dad proposed to me

You slept for most of it but we're so excited to do it every year and can see how fun its going to be as you get older. It was sooo cold, your dad was worried if it would be too cold for you to be outside but you were nice and cozy with me wearing you in your Moby wrapped in a blanket.

thats you under that blanket all snuggly!

You still LOVE to be worn and I wear you most of the time, I can count on one hand the number of times you've been in your stroller. Sometimes I just bring it to store the diaper bag and still wear you. Its so nice holding you as we go through our day, I love my snuggly little man. busy playing on your playmat

I brought you into the office this month and you were so good, I was able to work for 4 hours both wearing you and having you play on your playmat. You've been letting me work a few hours a day at home as well, you entertain yourself really well with your play mat and just looking around. You have started to look around more and take in whats around you. I love watching you discover things, the funniest has been your tongue. Its so cute watching you stick out your tongue and play with it. You've even started licking us sometimes when we kiss you its pretty funny.

You are sleeping better, in the past few nights you've gone for like 4-5 hours of straight sleep. Umm seriously this has been AMAZING! To tell the truth though I went in expecting you not to sleep so even though I was tired it didn't bother me to wake up to change and nurse you. Taking care of you has been the most rewarding job of my life, I love being your mommy!

This month we also found out you need to have minor surgery on your eyelid. Its the first time that I really feel like I can't protect you and it kills me. I know that this is just the first time of many that I will have to watch you go through trials without being able to take them away from you. You are my gift from God, so I trust you in His hands and place you in them every day in prayer. I know that your life experiences and how you choose to view them will make you the man you're going to be; good or bad. So even though I can't take this trial from you I plan to model my faith to you that you will learn that through anything we can trust God.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a cent? And yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."Matthew 10:29-31

God has numbered the very hairs on your head, He loves you my boo. Its hard for me to believe but He loves you even more than I do.

I love you so, my Bug, and look forward to getting to know you more as the months go by. Sometimes I just wish we could pause it a bit, its going so fast! I can't wait to see where this month is going to bring us and what new tricks you're going to learn. I can't wait to make the memory of your first Christmas! To celebrate the New Year with you, you've already shown me so much more hope and promise than any new year could.

Love Always,
Your mama

Like a 12 yr old girl

Oh hormones you are so cruel. Pimples, really?? All over my face right near Christmas, when we have parties to go to and actually see people. Arghh, this part of motherhood I could do without! Forgive the crazy eyes, I can't take a decent picture to save my life.

Ridiculous

I just finished organizing all of my medical bills from the birth of my son. You know the natural birth where I didn't require any medications of my healthy son who didn't require any medical interventions. Good grief, it was more expensive for me to pay my copays at the hospital than it would be to pay for a home birth in full.
For the nursery alone they billed us $10,000, my son was in the nursery for 3 hours total. I even tried to refuse him going because I thought it was ridiculous. $10,000=INSANE!

Tonight I'm going to purposefully focus on how thankful I am to have had a healthy delivery of a healthy son.