cars, trees and eyebrows

Well lets just say this past month hasn't been normal, ok well this past year hasn't been normal. I'm not exaclty the best at saying no to people so i spent the earlier part of the month over commiting myself.... FUN!!!! I was watching this lady with downs syndrome for two weeks at her house, this is of course when i got home from my regular job. Anyway i finally got home, YES SWEET HOME!!!
Well after i disinfected my house (another story for another day), I was overjoyed to be in my little scary cabin in the woods!!! That is for about hmmm 24 hours until i go to vote for govenor of NJ, well first of all let me just say i DID NOT WANT TO VOTE FOR ANYONE, they were all smacks but after ALOT of cajolling(yeah isn't that a great word!) I started driving EVEN FURTHER INTO THE WOODS to the voting place. Well deer and car collide and the deer literally exploded. I see the deer legs go flying off into the air. It was pretty gross. After i screamed like the woman i am, i decided i didn't want to stop in the middle of the freakin woods by myself to check out my car and i drive on to the voting place. Get there and vote for a smack, go out and look at my car, i screwed her up good!!!! Call my brother and tell him he owes me 500 dollars for talking me into doing my civic duty and then drove home. Finally get home and look under the hood and see that i seriously crapped up my car!! Long story short i'm driving a rental Wednesday.
So i'm getting ready thursday to make dinner for my friend Chris, driving home from work pull in my driveway(YES NO DEER!) Well about half way up i realize that i'm driving on live wires cause a freaking huge tree fell in the middle of the driveway pull out. Drive over to my parents and walk through the woods home (yes i am a hick). I decide that, you know what i'm up for a freaking adventure i'm still making dinner. So i call Chris and tell him to avoid electrocution and he comes on over. I make a stupendous cajun shrimp linquini (i love to cook), which amazingly i cooked entirely with about 20 oz of water (pumps don't work w/out electricity). Fast forward.
Last night i come home and call Dan Z. and invite him over, then Chris calls so i tell him to come over too. I light some candles and make a teryaki chicken and shrimp stir fry. We sit around for awhile and shoot the breeze. We decide to go over Dan's house to have some coconut wonderfulness. Dan leaves and i start walking around my house blowing out the candles. Around this time i realize how freaking smokey my house is. I go into the bathroom and the wall is literally ON FIRE! I have absolutly no sense for fire, i always do exactly what you are not supposed to do, i'm soo not a stop drop and roll type of girl. I take a deep breath (possible because i'm smoke free!) and blow as hard as i can and make the fire bigger. Molten wax flies all over my face and i throw the candle in the toilet. Well i try to throw it in the toilet i end up breaking it on the toilet and half of it flies into the trash. Same deal though thankfully the fire goes out. BUT my sink is completely covered in blue wax, my wall is literally smoking, and my face looks like chopped meat. It could be worse my house could have burnt down and i could have burnt my eyebrows off AGAIN!

Hmm what do you think, i'm thinking that maybe Gods trying to tell me something. I don't know what but theres got to be SOMETHING!!!
Ahh so theres my recent life and my first post, sorry it was soo freaking long!!!
Dirkey