Monday, November 01, 2010

Napoblomo! For Real!

So yeah I'm doing the Napoblomo, I've gotten way out of the whole blogging thing but have alot going on. I'm figuring this will help me get back into blogging. I also have a little Bugaboo that is A-dorable that I can fill space with pictures of if I run out of things to say.
We are starting to hit our groove after the birth of our son, our groove is a different groove than it was. Its a much more sleep deprived groove than it used to be but it also contains an obscene amount of cute and the fiercest of love. So yeah I have alot of posts flying around my head about being a first time mom, breastfeeding, natural birth, and then just my crazy random thoughts.
I'll leave you with a picture of the cuteness.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

The Birth of my Little Man

Baby Bam Bam

So this week has been a bit busy. About 4 hours after I wrote that last post I went into labor with my little man. After a long labor he was born on 10/5/10 at 3:11pm weighing 7lbs 9oz and 20 inches long. The labor, birth and reality of having a son have rocked my world. I feel so incredibly blessed right now.

Birth Story-Long version ** I am a doula and I go into detail here so if you don't feel comfortable reading the birth story from my perspective do not continue**

Monday morning I woke up about 4:30 shivering uncontrollably. I went to the bathroom then came back to bed to get under as many blankets as I could. About a half hour later my contractions started. They started out about 5 minute apart lasting about a minute each, I jumped in the shower to see what would happen. They got a bit more intense and the hubs popped his head in to see what was going on and if he should go to work that day. We figured it would be a good idea for him to stay home, and called my awesome doula, Mama K at about 6 am, and did a few laps around the block. We lapped the block a few more times, watched Flight of the Conchords and I took alot of showers. It started to get pretty intense at about 11:30 am and I felt best laying in bed; the contractions were about 2-3 min apart. The hubs called the midwives and they said to head on into the hospital.

I was extremely anxious about going into the hospital; terrified of having unnecessary procedures, of having my blood pressure go up because of anxiety. The whole hospital part of the birth scared the tar out of me and I think the decision to go in then stalled me out a bit because after that the contractions spaced out again at around 3-4pm. We ended up going out to dinner and while there they picked up a bit then we went over and walked the mall, then we headed home. Mama K headed home to see her little guys for a little bit with instructions for us to call her when things got going again.

They did start picking up again around 10pm, and at about midnight we headed to the hospital. My thinking was that I would sit in the parking lot until I just couldn't stand it then head in, and maybe walk around the parking lot in the meantime. Well it was raining and freezing so that made that difficult, the hubs and I did lap the hospital a couple of times but ended up going home again as the contractions seemed to space out again.

When we got home, I tried to sleep. The contractions were making that impossible, I was exhausted and in a good amount of pain. I called my mom for her advice knowing that if I got too tired there was no way I was going to be able to push this kid out, she basically told me the same thing. What finally made up my mind was that if we got to the hospital and things petered out at least I could get some sleep if they didn't then woo-hoo baby time. So we called Mama K and headed on in. I had to be on monitors for 20 min out of the hour but for the other 40 minutes I was able to labor in the shower, walk around, use the birth ball, listen to music,etc. The 20 minutes in bed were the hardest for me, the contractions just slammed me with back pain. Mama K and the hubs were wonderful in here; offering counter pressure, sips of water, walking with me, distracting me. It was funny I would be doing one thing then remember, hey if I were my doula this is what I would say and it would really help me, the one thing that really helped was the vocalizing making the low hmmmm noises and focusing. I remember during my contractions in bed I focused so hard on the bassinet which was directly in front of me. Towards the end I was so tired I was delirious, I remember just mumbling gibberish then realizing it was gibberish.

Here is the timeline for my dilation during all this at 4 am they checked me and I was 4 cm dilated, at 0 to -1 station and 80% effaced. Then at 6 am I was 6cm and 90 % effaced, at 8 am I was 8 cm and 90% effaced (see a pattern here??). At 10 am I was still at 8 cm and 90% but by noon I was at 9.5 cm with an anterior lip and 100% effaced. The midwife asked me if I wanted to have my water broken at this point and we decided that it probably would just help move things along. She broke my water at 12:30.

At this point we had that lull that they promise every laboring mom. Oh it was so appreciated as I was so incredibly tired from being up since about 5 am the day before laboring. The nurse walked in at one point here and I jokingly asked her if I could have my epidural now. She did such a double take cause I did it with a smile on my face calm as can be, lol. I was pretty happy because this was the only point that I asked for anything and I was just kidding around. What really helped me with this was I requested not to be offered any type of pain medication, they abided by my wishes and my stubborn Irish self wouldn't ask to save my life :).

I started pushing at 2:07. Wow, NOTHING could have prepared me for that. The midwife gave me full discretion to push in whatever position felt good to me and it seemed to be hugging the back of the bed on my hands and knees. I just remember while pushing having such doubt if he would ever come, if I could do it. I started praying in between the contractions asking God to help me, to give me strength, to get this baby out of me! The nurse told me later that I also politely asked the baby "Get out of me! Please!!". After pushing in that position for awhile I moved to stand next to the bed bent over the bed pushing, I kept feeling the midwife underneath me putting the monitor on my belly to get the heart rate and wondering where the heck she was to be doing this. At this point they realize that my hep lock (port for IV) came out so they were trying to clean up the blood on my arm from that, that gave me something else to focus on while pushing so that was good. I could feel his head coming out but no one was saying anything so I figured I was wrong, I was having so much self doubt here. I remember thinking if that isn't his head this labor is going to kill me. The midwife said for the next contraction she wanted me in bed using the squat bar so I did that and his head came out on the next push. She wasn't ready and didn't have her gloves on so she was yelling at me to stop pushing!! I started crying because its impossible to stop and I thought there was something wrong with him (ie cord wrapped around his neck, not breathing). Oh I was soo mad when I found out that it was just because she didn't have gloves on!!

All that was quickly forgotten at 3:11pm when she placed my sweet man on my stomach. I was so overcome with emotion, I couldn't do anything but just cry. I was so in love with this little baby boy and with my husband, I couldn't believe that one room could contain it.

Monday, October 04, 2010

Thoughts on 39 weeks

So here we are in the waiting game. A twinge here and there, is that it? Am I in labor? Its not really bugging me or wigging me out yet. I just really really hope to go into labor soon just to avoid induction talk. As far as the pregnancy its really not that bad, physically I don't feel too bad. I think the worst part is people calling and asking if you are in labor. My brother was cracking me up, he called last week and said "as soon as you go into labor call me the next day", if only the rest of the world was like that :). My IL's were over on Saturday and I swear every time I moved they were like "are you ok?"...Really... I'm fine I can manage shifting positions. The hubs has been absolutely incredible picking up so much slack around the house. Thankfully his office has also let him work from home a good amount of the time, its so wonderful having him there for every appointment. I just finished thank you cards tonight which was the last thing on my "really really really want to get done before I have the baby list". There is other stuff but I'm not too concerned anything not on my big list.
So anyway thats really all that I've been up to, just waiting. I'm so excited to meet our little boy.

Friday, October 01, 2010

Majesty worship HIS Majesty

So I woke up this evening with my normal pregnancy bathroom break and something drew me downstairs. Once down there I could hear the wind blowing outside and I found myself walking around our block at midnight, 9 months pregnant. Feeling the breeze across my face, watching the wind through the trees and I couldn't help but start to sing. It was one of those moments where you are so filled with praise that you can't help it. What a gorgeous night tonight is, I'm so thankful to have a little one on one walk with God through it.

Majesty worship His Majesty
Unto Jesus, be all glory,
Power and praise
Majesty, Kingdom authority
Flow from His throne,
Unto his own, His anthem raise.

So exalt, lift up on high
The Name of Jesus
Magnify, come glorify,
Christ Jesus the King
Majesty, worship His Majesty
Jesus who died, now glorified,
King of all Kings.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Baby Shower

So a couple of weeks ago my friends and family threw us an amazing baby shower.

The threw it at my parents house and it was a gorgeous day; it was so special to have so many of the important people in my life celebrate our little man with us. We were so touched with the hard work that went into the party. There were alot of people there and everything was just so special, I loved it! Instead of a guest book they had alphabet coloring pages that they'll put into a book for the baby. The theme was birds and trees and Mama K outdid herself with handmade birdie garland and little birds and birdcages all around. The trees were easy since my parents live in the middle of nowhere!

just one picture of one of the strings of garland. Its hard to tell here but the picture frames are filled with my siblings and my wedding pictures and the one closest to the camera is the hubs and I.

One of my oldest friends, T, made the cake and it was soo delicious. Each slice had four layers filled with lemon curd and a marscapone cheese filling. It was soo delicious!!! I normally don't eat cake but I still drool thinking about that one!

Another friend Eminstiches made these awesome bird nest favors! They were so cute and tasty!

My siblings were in charge of the food and they didn't disappoint, I've never seen such a spread at a shower. There were other tables full of food as well.

We were completely floored by the generosity of our friends and family. I loved this onsie it says Mommy + Daddy = Me :)
It was such a great day celebrating Baby B and seeing friends old and new. I'm so thankful to have such wonderful people in our lives. We are so blessed.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The difference a year makes

It was a year ago today that we lost our first little angel. I vividly remember so much of that experience; physical pain, emotional pain, anger, hurt, grief. I know that God has done so much in me this year through that loss. It is weird to me to think that if it didn't happen I'd be holding a five month old baby right now. I'm technically full term right now and our little boy could make his arrival at any time. I know that I cherish this pregnancy more knowing that I'm blessed to be able to carry this little one. I really find it hard to complain about the normal pregnancy stuff because I'm just so happy to be pregnant. I do find myself talking about it a bit just because its whats going on but to be honest; I don't mind not sleeping, I don't mind the pelvic pain, I don't mind the doctors appointments and I don't mind the swelling. I'm so overjoyed to carry this little boy and will carry with me the memory of my first little one forever. I know that one thing he taught me was to be grateful for what I do have. I'm so grateful for both of my little ones, for my wonderful husband, incredible friends and family; we have so much.
The one thing I'd say to anyone going through that is to seek to see what you have learned. Seek to see the positives. When you go through something that hard sometimes it is easy to get sucked into bitterness and anger but that won't help you get through it. Take it easy on yourself though because you can't be suzie sunshine all the time, sometimes you just might need a good cry.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Nursery

So we're in our 37th week here and anxiously anticipating the birth of this little guy. I'm totally loving watching him moving around my belly though, I will miss having him inside of me. Things are definitely getting real; we have the nursery together, bags packed and carseat installed. When we left church on Sunday I realized that there are only a couple more times that we'll be leaving church and its just me and the hubs. The nursery is done, clothes are washed and put away, diapers are washed and put away. There are a few things left to do; like scrub the house and bake an insane amount of dinners and snacks.
Without further ado, here is a look at the nursery.
This is a look at the corner of the room; I love the crate that holds the books you can't see it but it the fabric has awesome numbers and letters in different fonts. The books were the wishing well at the shower, we really got some amazing books that I've been enjoying reading to Baby B already. I have some handmade things from when I was little the Strawberry Shortcake figures were made for me by my sister and there is a little duck finger puppet that my cousin made me. We've been calling this baby our lobster because thats how he looked in the ultrasound and there is a cute lobster hat from his Auntie and Uncle. I also love his Piggy Bank gifted from Eminstiches. Our quilt is also hung here, the theme of the nursery is birds and trees but its really just a loose theme.
I love this crazy mobile. Last Christmas I used some money I received to purchase some things for our nursery. This was before we found out we were pregnant and I was so happy to find out a few weeks later that we were expecting. The birdies are Christmas ornaments from Anthropologie, and I just really liked all the colors, a few of them have little shiny bits as well. Baby B will have a good amount to look at there!!
This is a pic of the shelf above the crib. The garland was decoration from my shower made by Mama K, the cute birdie print is from Mama K as well (you can't tell here but the birds totally match the ribbon from the mobile!). The cross is St. Brigids cross, if Baby B was a girl his name was going to be Brigid after this saint. The cross is made by weaving reeds from the River Shannon, to me its just a beautiful way of using God's creation to tell the story of redemption. The angel is hope, because we hoped and prayed for this little boy.
We received some really beautiful homemade goodies for Baby B; the Froggie was made for me by Eminstitches, this blanket was made by Granny Dirkey for Baby B. When he's born I'm going to be posting some more of the handmade goodies we received, I really do treasure the hard work that goes into those types of gifts.
I love this present that we received; its Baby B's name, meaning and a scripture (2nd Chronicles 16:9 "The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him. "). My friend did the calligraphy herself and I love that its the first thing that we see when coming into the nursery.
here's a look into the room with the little toy basket and hamper at the base of the bed. I really like how the room turned out. We purposefully wanted it to be pretty gender neutral (in hopes of future little ones) and think we accomplished this. Every time I look around I see all the love that surrounds our family and Baby Ben; he is so blessed to have so many wonderful people in his life.

Monday, August 30, 2010

So much to say

Its been awhile since I've blogged. Things are going well here, in the home stretch of this pregnancy. We've had a great summer with a vacation to Maine, lots and lots of trips to the beach (I am a very tan preggo, well for an Irish girl anyway), and filled with friends and laughter. This weekend the hubs and I were thrown a beautiful baby shower from close friends and family, they threw such a wonderful party. I'm blown away by the love and care put into the shower and am so thankful to have people that care about us that much in our lives. Then the people who came to the shower it was just so good to see so many of the people we love celebrating with us and holy mackarel were they generous! We are so blessed, our little man is surrounded by so much love. The shower really deserves its own post so that is coming.
Here is a filler while I do some laundry and try to put some things together. Its the Emmy's openning number and I loved it!

Friday, July 09, 2010

Nursery Update

We bought a crib today! Yay, well more specifically my parents bought a crib for us! Woot Woot thanks Mom and Dad!
Its this one

Which can be found here
I'm surprised it took this long for me to find one I like but apparently I decided to become ridiculously picky about this which is pretty out of character for me. The hubs might be rubbing off on me, as he once spent 2 YEARS looking for brown dress shoes (side note when we found the "right" shoes I wanted to buy like 15 pairs). Anyway I ended up going through Babys R Us shaking all the cribs and this one was the nicest one that endured my shaking test. This reminds me of my parents story of buying their kitchen table, they were VERY rough in the store as they had six kids and wanted to make sure that it would last (to the point where I believe one of them was standing on it or something but I could just be making that part up who knows). That kitchen table is just as strong as it was when I was little though so I guess its good to do things a little goofy when buying furniture.

We aren't doing the whole traditional nursery thing where we're redoing the whole room. Our guest room was painted a nice pale green color when we moved in (with future babies in mind) and we'll keep the current furniture in there. The furniture that is there is from my great grandparents and matches the crib. My idea is to still keep this as a spare room/baby's room. The baby will most likely sleep with us for the foreseeable future and just use the crib sporadically for naps and such for awhile. When he's sleeping a bit more we'll move him over to the crib and then when he is old enough we'll transition him into the big bed that is already there and keep the crib in there for future kidlets. With that in mind we got a pretty gender neutral bedding set that looks like this

Actually the walls in our room are a similar color and I got a dark blue comforter for the bed to "boy" up the room a bit.

I am excited to set up the crib and do some rearranging in the room. We might have to move one of the dressers out for space issues but we'll see. Mostly I just need to sell some stuff before this baby comes so we have room for him. The hubs and I have collected some crazy stuff that we don't use but could bring in a pretty penny on Craigslist.

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Thinking Positively

So lately I've really been working on having a positive outlook. This isn't too far of a stretch because I'm generally a glass half full type of person, but lately I've been stressing about things that I don't need to stress about. Noticing that my mind was going places I didn't want it to go, I wanted to nip it in the bud. For me one of the best ways to do that is to control what comes in; books, tv, movies, conversations. All of these play a part in where I allow my mind to go. A verse that I memorized a long time ago (it was displayed in my best friends bathroom when I was a teenager, made it so easy to memorize!) always comes to mind when I'm struggling with my thoughts.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

How much different would our day to day life look if we consciously made the effort to only think on those things. How many tv shows, movies or books would this cut out if used this verse to decide what you were allowing in your mind? How often do we think worst case scenario's or dwell on how others have hurt us? Surely this colors our outlook on life. One of the girls I work with goes a step further and makes sure you are only speaking good into others lives. This applies to your own as well. How much more positive your life would be if your words are words of affirmation and not degradation.
Psalm 126:2
Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD has done great things for them."

When people see the words that come from my lips may they be able to say "The Lord has done great things for Kristi" He surely has; let my actions, reactions, words and thoughts attest to this.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Viability and a sigh of relief

So this week I hit a milestone, I'm 24 weeks. Which now is when the baby has a fighting chance of surviving out of the womb. Don't get me wrong I want our little Bam Bam to cook a bit more get some fat on his little body but this really does make me breathe a sigh of relief. I'm also coming pretty close to my 3rd trimester, it seems like its going pretty quickly. I do find myself pretty freaking grumpy when I'm stuck in the heat, thats pretty much the symptom that is most apparent right now. I love feeling little Bam Bam moving and kicking and generally can't keep myself from talking to him when he does, which makes me look pretty "interesting" (read: crazy) when it happens in public. It is such a magical time, having this little boy inside of me growing and sharing everything with me. Its so hard to believe that pretty soon he'll be on his own and on the outside. I can't wait to get to know him, to see who he'll look like, to watch him grow.
I decided we're going to do some childbirth classes. I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not because I am so familiar with birth through my doula work but I figure the refresher is probably good and it will be good for the hubs to have a little more confidence going into it. We are using the Bradley Method because it emphasizes the husbands role as the coach and I've seen great success with clients who use it. It amazes me the difference it makes in labor when you are prepared rather than just "going for the ride". I'm going to do the best I can to prepare both me and the hubs for the events coming up.
I'm going to start researching cribs and deciding what we want. One of the girls from my birth board just posted pictures of her nursery and its soo cute so now I have the itch to get ours going. Right now its filled with so much baby stuff and furniture. I need to reorganize and get rid of some stuff then work on decorating. Conveniently this can be done in air conditioning so maybe that will help with the general grumpiness when its hot outside.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

Feeling so Spoiled

So the hubs and I went out yard sailing this morning and I was keeping my eyes open for a few things. Things for the baby that I didn't really want to register for but kind of wanted anyway; like a co-sleeper and an extra swing and some other stuff. Well I found a Take Along Swing for $5, great deal as they go for $70 in the store. Found some other great small things; some outfits, a baby gate, random stuff. Then as we were leaving the one I just said a random prayer "Lord it would be really nice if we could find a cosleeper for under $20". It was a tall order as they retail for anywhere from $140 for the mini and $190 for the regular. I didn't want to register for it because I really wanted a play pen and couldn't see registering for both. Well we went to one bomb of a yard sale and on the way home we passed by a house with like 6 things in the driveway and stopped. You guessed it, they had an Arms Reach Co-Sleeper. I asked the lady how much and she gave it to me for $5, doesn't even look like they ever opened it up!!

It makes me laugh because it seems like there are alot of prayers that God answers like this in my life. It reminds me that I am His child and he really does delight in me and listens to my prayers. One time I was moving 15 min away but didn't have a couch and said "Lord please help me find a couch for $10 on the way home", don't you know I did and they delivered it for me! It may seem silly to some but these answered prayers just reinforce the love I already feel and today I just feel downright spoiled!

Have you ever tried some yard sale prayers?

Friday, June 04, 2010

I'm making pregnancy sexy

I just sneezed and peed my pants..
Oh yeah, sexy!

Thursday, June 03, 2010

To all the Debbie Downers in the world

Read an article over at Offbeat Mama and was struck by this quote:
This is where I still feel very sensitive. I hate it when people say things like, "At least you have a healthy baby." Or, "That's why you shouldn't make plans for birth–it never goes according to plan." It's very hurtful. I don't think it's fair to imply that I am not grateful for my child or that I am selfish for wanting birth to be more than a "get the baby out" exercise. It is okay that I wanted to be treated as more than a baby-bearing vessel. I am not out to prove something and I'm not trying to be a martyr or get a medal. I just wanted a positive, empowering birth experience and I felt fully educated and aware of my options.

I don't think I will ever understand why people feel the need to poo poo on someones dream for a "natural" birth. Sometimes it seems like whenever something good happens people instantly need to say what could go wrong, like well you shouldn't be too happy cause the other shoe might drop at any moment. I want to be someone who can encourage and who can share joy without being the Debbie Downer to the situation.

I believe birth is like anything else that you would train for, the ending is not all up to you. You can train for a marathon for a year and twist your ankle that morning getting out of bed. You can plan for a natural birth but hey things might go wrong. I think if the person is educated they already know that, they don't need you telling them all about your best friend's cousins birth where she delivered 13lb twins. I'm constantly amazed at how people need to tell me about late miscarriages, stillborn babies, mothers dying in labor. Yes, I know those things happen but I don't need you to constantly remind me of them. I'm working towards a goal, and while maybe you didn't achieve that goal or maybe you don't even care about my goal, I would appreciate you saying nothing if you can't say anything nice or encouraging. Thankfully I do have very encouraging people in my life but there are always the select few that just need to tell you something horrible every time they see you.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Long Weekend

This weekend is a little bittersweet for us, the hubs twin brother and family are moving to Virginia on Sat. They currently live about .5 mile away so I was kind of hoping our kids would grow up together but no such luck.
There is a ton of fun stuff going on though, tomorrow I'm heading out to Ocean City NJ to get my beach tags and possibly have some beach time. Then we're having a little BBQ in honor of the VA transplants. Then Sat we have a bbq welcoming home a good friend that moved to Washington State and recently had brain surgery; I can't wait to see her as I've been praying like a fiend for her. Sunday looks like I'm going bowling to celebrate one of my oldest friend's birthday, ha ha oldest friend.. Oh wait, she's younger than me...
Then Monday I'm going to said friends parents house for an annual softball game and picnic.

Pretty busy weekend planned, any big plans?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It took me 3 years to realize

That "all natural, organic" deodorants just don't cut it for me, and yes, I've tried every kind. I finally broke down and bought a Dove deodorant yesterday and I'm enjoying smelling good. My super spidey pregnancy sniffer maybe who to thank for this change but it was bound to happen sooner or later. I officially resign my status as a smelly hippy, you can now just refer to me as a hippy.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Its a Boy!!!


We had our ultrasound this morning. I couldn't sleep all last night I was so worried/excited. Everything went so well though, the baby is measuring perfect we watched his little heart pump away. He was moving and jumping all over the place so much so that the hubs was like "WHOAH DO YOU FEEL THAT?!", the look on his face was priceless. I just fell in love with little Bam Bam that much more watching him move around and wave to us. It was so amazing to be able to count little fingers and toes right on the screen. I'm so amazed and so thankful for our little boy!

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Mother's Day

This is the first Mother's Day that I can celebrate and I celebrate as a Mother of two; with one baby in heaven and one baby in my womb. I'm so thankful this day for the child living within me, for this incredible answer to prayer. I'm thankful for my amazing partner and the love of my life and that our journey this year has brought us even closer together. I anxiously look forward to meeting our little one, counting fingers and toes and kissing little baby cheeks. My days are mostly filled with promise and hope thinking of the future.

There is also an ache that is ever present, wondering what might have been. My first child would have been due in just a few days, I find myself wondering if he would have been early I might already be holding my child. I look at my friends that are due this month and I find myself slipping into thinking what might have been.

Today I pray a peaceful Mother's Day to those with empty arms and mourning hearts. I pray that they may find some joy today in the middle of a day that can be so painful.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

New Masthead

I do feel like I'm living my dream. I married the best person I've ever met, sometimes (especially when the hormones attack) I get a little annoyed at my wonderful hubs but he really is the man of my dreams. We have a nice little place to live, I love our neighborhood, our church which is nearby and our little house. Finally the dream I've had all my life of being a mom. I've got my little bean percolating inside and I'm so excited for this new adventure. Things are good :)

Thursday, April 01, 2010

I got the car buying blues

So about two weeks ago my little engine that could became a little engine that couldn't anymore. Since then we've been looking for a new car, I haven't been in the market for a car for a good long time (I had my old car for about 10 years). Jason and I are fairly conservative financially and personally don't feel right in getting a car loan. I hate debt and we've successfully avoided it thus far (except for the mortgage) and I really really don't want to add another debt as well as another person to our family. So with this said we're looking for a reliable older model 4 door or minivan., we've found we can afford a pretty decent minivan per our research on Kelley Blue Book. Problem is that there is a ridiculous shortage on used cars so the used cars that are out there are at ridiculously inflated prices. All this adds up to a supremely frustrated Dirkey.
Thankfully my brother in law (who lives the next street over) has been giving me rides to work as its on his way, which is an awesome blessing. I'm just praying that we find something soon and wondering if I should just bite the bullet and get a loan.

Anyone have any tips for me?